I’ve just spoken to a friend who recently stepped off a Russian exploration boat that had transported him from Ushuaia to the southernmost town in the world: Puerto Williams, Chile. From Puerto Williams he intends to ‘hitchhike’ to Antarctica for a couple of weeks — watch this space! Travelling from Uruguay through Buenos Aires on the day that the Argentinian team returned with their cup, having pipped the French team to the post, he said that it was somewhat intimidating to be the only French person amid four million explosively victorious Argentinian patriots. Apparently he kept his mouth firmly, and uncharacteristically, shut throughout, and he doesn’t scare easily (see above!)

In this house, it was France/England match that was contentious; as Léo and I have dual nationality, Luc said we couldn’t lose, which gave us an unfair advantage in potential game satisfaction. As I’ve mentioned before, Luc is very invested in the footie, and, as such, it’s not something he takes lightly. In the end, it was agreed that we could watch with him as long as we remained silent and emotionless, much like our friend in Buenos Aires. Java watched with us, lying between me and Léo, snoring loudly, waking only to bark at the French goals.

Wishing everybody a very happy new year! Here’s to hoping that 2023 brings peace and positivity.

Recipe for Brussels sprout, fennel and clementine salad (serves 4)

Salad:

• 50g Brussels sprouts, chopped finely
• 1 fennel, chopped
• 3 clementines, peeled and segmented
• 5 dried figs, chopped
• 2 carrots, peeled and cut into thin rounds
• 3 shallots, peeled and chopped

Dressing:

• 100ml plain yoghurt
• 1 teaspoon mustard
• 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
• 1 tablespoon honey
• 1 clove garlic, crushed
• Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon mild curry powder

Place the sprouts, fennel, clementines, figs, carrots and shallots in a salad bowl. Mix the yoghurt and mustard together, then gradually add the vinegar little by little, mixing well to obtain a homogenous creamy texture. Add the honey, garlic and seasoning, mixing all the time to prevent the dressing from separating. Pour the dressing over the salad and mix thoroughly.

I mentioned a while ago having been very sick for over eight months following my second mRNA vaccine. Now there are more and more doctors raising questions, and subsequently being silenced. This video is a discussion between two eminent doctors, one of whom is a cardiologist. They started out as big proponents of the vaccine (as did I), before changing their minds once they’d witnessed major collateral damage.

The fact that, during their discussion, they have to virtually speak in tongues in order to avoid censor by YouTube is real cause for concern. Everybody has to decide what is right for them, but balanced information is needed to make informed decisions, so why the hell is it so difficult to obtain? Pfizer failed to test the vaccine to see whether it prevented transmission of the virus, which didn’t stop governments all over the world from using the ‘get jabbed to save granny’ argument. Just to ward off any facile conclusions that I’m ‘antivax’ (an annoyingly over-simplified label), I’m not; I’m anti being manipulated and lied to, and then poisoned with a product that hasn’t been properly tested.

On a lighter note, my ranting about pharmaceuticals doesn’t stop me going into, and making a spectacle of myself in pharmacies. My son, Léo is trying to gain a few kilos, the better to anchor himself to the rugby pitch, so I asked at our local pharmacy for some high calorie protein powder. Before purchasing, I ‘phoned Léo to check it was what he wanted. It was a bad line and I ended up having to repeat everything he said, quite loudly as it turns out.

I only grasped just how public our conversation had been when I realised everyone in the line behind me was sniggering, and the pharmacist said ‘tell your son not to worry: If he only takes a couple of scoops a day it won’t ‘fuck with his kidneys’.

Recipe for courgette and shallot tart (serves 6 – 8)

Ingredients for pastry:

• 220g flour (I used spelt flour)
• 100g butter
• Cold water

Ingredients for filling:

• 1 medium-sized courgette, washed and cut into rounds
• 1 tablespoon of olive oil
• 2 shallots, sliced
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• 2 eggs
• 150 ml double cream
• 50 mg Cheddar, Parmesan or Comté cheese, grated

To make the pastry, begin by cutting the butter into small cubes. Add to the flour in a mixing bowl and add a pinch of sea salt. Blend by hand until the mixture becomes crumbly. Add the cold water, mixing rapidly with a spoon. Remove the mixture from the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until you obtain a ball of pastry (if the mixture isn’t ‘sticky’ enough to form a ball, you may need a drop more water). Wrap in a clean cotton tea towel and leave to ‘rest’ in the fridge for about two hours. This relaxes the dough and makes it easier to use. Preheat the oven to 200°C. Roll out the pastry on a clean, lightly floured surface and line the tart tin.

For the filling, begin by frying the courgette rounds and sliced shallots in a little olive oil, then arrange in the pastry case. Break the eggs into a small bowl and add the cream and seasoning (salt, pepper, nutmeg). Beat well to form a homogenous mixture. Add some grated cheese and then pour the egg and cream mixture over the top. Cook at 200°C for 25 minutes, or until the top is golden-brown.

I like to listen to audio books while I walk with Java and her assorted boyfriends, mostly because it takes my mind off the fact that Java’s obedience training has, once again, taken a turn for the worse. I’m just beginning to appreciate the extent to which Hugo kept our house in order. (One of the many charms of English Setters is that they are predisposed to ‘willfulness’; a pompous way to say they do exactly as they please.) Back to Audible: What should be a relaxing pastime has given me internal punctuation Tourettes, and as I listen, my mind randomly screams: ‘full stop, comma, semi-colon — no wait, that should be a colon — pause for a new paragraph…’ I sometimes even rewind a bit to revise and refine my work. I’m nothing if not a perfectionist, so I think I’ll attack pronunciation next ;-).

Luckily, my disobedient dog keeps both me and her friends on our toes. There’s very little time for punctuation, imaginary or otherwise, when you’re battling canine insanity. Canine insanity trumps human insanity by its sheer chaos potential.

I used this recipe quite a number of times over the summer. Pork has a tendency to be a bit tough, but this marinade, in particular the apple cider vinegar, helps to tenderise the meat. The acid in the vinegar breaks down protein, leaving the meat extra tender, and the longer the meat is left in the marinade, the better.

Recipe for barbecue pork marinade (serves 4-6)

• 2 cloves garlic
• Paprika
• 1 tablespoon honey
• Apple cider vinegar
• Olive oil
• Mustard
• Worcestershire sauce

Combine the ingredients, mixing well to form a homogenous, liquid paste. Coat the pork pieces and leave to marinate, overnight if possible. These are best cooked on a wood barbecue, but any kind of grill would work.

Our son, Léo, has recently finished an intense cycle of competitive exams and interviews for his next three years of further education. He wants to pursue viticulture/oenology studies in an agricultural engineering establishment, and the relevant schools are based either in Bordeaux, Toulouse or Montpellier. After visiting Toulouse, Léo made a rapid decision to strike it from his list because, although it’s an excellent school — wait for it — there was ‘no bread shop within walking distance’. WTAF? Even allowing for cultural differences (Léo is French born and bred, or bread as the case may be, and I was born in the UK), I had trouble seeing the lack of a bread shop as a major hurdle. Luc, on the other hand, found Léo’s logic to be beyond reproach.

Daily bread

Once Léo had settled on, and been offered a place at the institute in Bordeaux and we started to look for an apartment, we quickly realized that a bread shop, or boulangerie, in the immediate vicinity is one of the biggest selling points for property; estate agents’ maps feature little baguettes to indicate their locations. I became mesmorised by the baguette icons, and began to count those in central Bordeaux, but only got to 78 before going cross-eyed. Google then fed my new-found bread shop statistic obsession with the reassuring fact that Bordeaux has 277 boulangeries/patisseries for 250,000 inhabitants. In the Anglo-Saxon world, we tend to prioritise things like schools, general shops, perhaps hospitals, and other amenities. Not so in France, the baguette is all powerful!

We had a delivery from a man this morning whose first bemused question, once he’d eventually found our house at the end of the sandy track, was: ‘what do you do for bread?’. Reassured to learn that Luc made sure we had a constant supply, and delivery completed, he made his way back to civilisation in a shocked daze, shaking his head disbelievingly and muttering to himself: ‘Putain, ils n’ont même pas de boulangerie!’ (‘Fuck, they don’t even have a bread shop!’) I think the fact that, to all intents and purposes, we live in one of the few remaining boulangerie deserts in France, was a lot for the poor chap to process. I don’t think we’ll be seeing him again any time soon.

Recipe for stuffed green peppers (serves 4)

• 4 green peppers (or any other colour)
• Olive oil
• 2 tomatoes, peeled and chopped
• 2 onions, chopped
• 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
• 150g arborio rice
• 750ml chicken or vegetable stock
• 20g raisins
• 20g pine nuts
• Sprig of thyme
• 1 teaspoon coriander grains
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• Handful black olives, pitted and chopped
• 200g goat’s cheese or feta cheese, sliced
• Fresh coriander

Preheat the oven to 180°C. Prepare the peppers by cutting off the top and scooping out the seeds. Place on a roasting tray with a little olive oils and pre-roast for about 15 minutes, until softened. Gently fry the chopped tomatoes, onions and garlic in a little olive oil until soft. Add the rice and continue to fry, mixing with a spatula. Add the stock, stirring well, and then the raisins and pine nuts. Then add the thyme, seasoning and black olives, and leave to cook on a gentle heat until the liquid is absorbed. Once the rice mixture is cooked add the cheese, mixing well. Fill the emptied peppers with the mixture, adding the fresh coriander at the end. Put the tops back on the peppers, pour over a little olive oil and return to the oven for 45 minutes.