Spelt flour crêpes and the chaos theory according to Hugo

In the interests of transparency (have you noticed the trendy lingo I’m picking up?), I asked to write today’s blog because I don’t think that the Bossy One is always very honest with you.
The way she presents her recipes would have you believe that she’s a domestic goddess (I heard that on the television), when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. The havoc she creates in the kitchen is quite something. Not that I’m not complaining because the more the food ends up on the floor, the happier I am. 🙂
Today’s recipe, for example,  should really read something like this:
Sift the flour, salt and bicarbonate of soda into a mixing bowl, use a large shovel to scoop up the ingredients that somehow landed outside the bowl, whilst simultaneously trying to recover from violent coughing and sneezing fit caused by inhaled flour. Make a well in the centre and break the eggs into it, mutter obscenities and pick the broken bits of eggshell out with your fingernails. Whisk the eggs, little by little incorporating the surrounding flour. If you use an electric whisk, you can be sure that a substantial amount of mixture will end up on the surrounding walls, sometimes even the ceiling. Combine the almond milk and water and add little by little to the flour/egg mixture. Turn the whisk to SLOW before pouring in liquid, otherwise it will ricochet alarmingly which isn’t good because it causes more mad muttering (I can also do alliteration :-)). Once all the liquid has been added, continue to whisk until you obtain a smooth batter, the consistency of thin cream  (yeah right; in her dreams!). Push back messy hair, smothering small amount of  ‘smooth’ ( 😆 ) batter over face.
I won’t go on because she can be a bit sensitive when it comes to criticism, even if it is constructive, and I’d like to continue this writing lark.  I will leave you with this thought though:  this is a simple recipe – just imagine the scenario with a complicated one 😉

Thank you for your kind words Hugo, I think I’ll take over now. This is based on Delia Smith’s recipe for ‘basic pancakes’, which I have adapted to use with spelt flour and almond milk.
Ingredients (makes about 10 crêpes)
110g spelt flour
pinch of salt
pinch of bicarbonate of soda
2 large eggs
200ml almond milk
75ml water
butter or coconut oil for cooking
Sift the flour, salt and bicarbonate of soda into a mixing bowl, make a well in the centre and break the eggs into it. Whisk the eggs, little by little incorporating the surrounding flour. Combine the almond milk and water and add little by little to the flour/egg mixture. Once all the liquid has been added, continue to whisk until you obtain a smooth batter, the consistency of thin cream.
To cook the crêpes you will need a shallow frying, or preferably a crêpe pan. Melt the butter or coconut oil making sure that the base of the frying pan is coated. Pour a small amount of batter into hot fat in the pan, tipping from side to side to distribute evenly. Cook until golden brown on both sides.