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Buckwheat chocolate cake (gf) and unfettered ambitions
My latest goal in life is to photograph Hugo and Java together, at the same time, in the same place and, if at all possible, sitting still. Never let it be said that I lack ambition. I recently told Hugo — well asked really; Hugo isn’t the sort of dog you order about — to sit while I took a photo of him. Since then, the moment he catches a glimpse of a camera lens he sits and tilts his head just enough to do his profile justice. I think he may be the reincarnation of one of Pavlov’s dogs. Java, on the other hand, not so much. Once she’s outside, under no circumstances does she ‘do’ sitting. Or even standing still. So I have one unnaturally static dog pouting into the camera and flaunting his best side like a runway model who’s just tossed her cookies, and the other who is nothing but a distant white blur. I have a feeling that I set the bar pretty high for myself, because so far all I’ve managed are these: The Pout and The Blur.
This cake, on the other hand, was a great success. Inspired from a David Lobowitz recipe, it really is one of the lightest, most delicious chocolate cakes ever…
Ingredients (10 servings)
170g dark chocolate (minimum 70% cocoa)
115g coconut oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon rum (optional)
4 eggs, separated
100g cane sugar
100ml plain yoghurt
70g ground almonds (you could substitute ground hazelnuts)
40g buckwheat flour
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
Preheat the oven to 180ºC and prepare a medium-sized loaf tin. Melt the chocolate and coconut oil until smooth and add the vanilla extract and rum. Whisk the egg yolks, sugar and yogurt until light and smooth and then combine with the melted chocolate/coconut oil. Mix the ground almonds, buckwheat flour, salt and bicarbonate of soda together and then combine well with the egg yolk and chocolate mixture. Whisk the egg whites until they form soft peaks and gently but thoroughly fold into the chocolate mixture. Pour the mixture into the loaf tin and bake for 30 minutes. Remove from the tin and leave to cool. Delicious served alone or with Greek yoghurt or ice cream.
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Chocolate coconut cream and a dry sense of humour
Léo told me that he’d been chatting to one of his teachers today and that the subject of careers had come up. Apparently he had said that he wasn’t tempted to follow in the footsteps of either of his parents, as his mother was a drug dealer and his father a lumberjack. The worst thing is, the next time I meet this teacher, I’ll obsess so much about coming across as normal and un-drug-dealerish that I’ll certainly end up doing my very best impression of a high-security psychiatric ward escapee strung out on crack cocaine.
I’m reminded of when Léo was three and had just started nursery school. He was chatting to his teacher (sensing a theme?) and told her about the day his grandmother, who was meant to be looking after him, had left him to fend for himself while she took off to her dentist appointment (!?) on her Harley Davidson.
I just hope that Léo’s teachers will continue to appreciate his sense of irony, because the day he ‘chats’ to one that takes what he says at face value, we could be in for a visit from social services…
Ingredients (makes 4-6 ramekins)
200ml coconut milk
2 eggs, beaten
120g dark chocolate, melted
75g honey
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon rum (optional)
Prepare six ramekins. Heat the coconut milk until just before boiling, add the eggs, blending well. Add the chocolate, honey, vanilla extract and rum if using and continue to heat for a few minutes being sure not to let the mixture boil. Pour the mixture into the ramekins and chill in the fridge for at least four hours before eating. -
Chocolate pound cake and an imminent trip to China
Customer service in mobile phone shops in France has done a 180: The motto, ‘the customer is always wrong’ used to be de rigueur, and the only way to get what you wanted was either to flirt outrageously or scream like a harridan (I had both techniques down pat). Now it seems all of a sudden that ‘the customer is always right’, which is oddly disconcerting.
Yesterday I visited not one, but two mobile phone suppliers. Before anyone thinks I’ve totally lost it, let me quickly point out that this was out of absolute necessity and not choice. One of the horses had tested the sturdiness of my phone’s glass screen with its hoof (hoof: one, phone: nil) and as a mobile phone is essential given my inclination to fall into deep ditches in the middle of nowhere, replacing it was a matter of urgency.
The first boutique was unable to help me because, despite having the phone I had painstakingly tracked down, ordered and already paid for online in their possession, they claimed that ‘my order had failed’. They unequivocally agreed that it was outrageous/unbelievable/infuriating/beyond obtuse and criminally time-wasting, which completely took the wind out of my sails. Unfortunately there was nothing they could do because their ‘management are scumbags’.
After a 45 minute wait surrounded by people with banana-shaped upper bodies, it was much the same story in the second shop. It would appear that from a telecom point of view, I have ‘special needs’ far too complex to fulfil, especially in view of the fact that everyone’s bosses are unprincipled reprobates. I’m still not sure how I feel about having my phone requirements sentenced to the ‘special needs’ category.
Despite returning home 20 years older and still phoneless, I was able to muster just enough courage to once again locate what I wanted online. It was delivered the next day and I was so anxious to get it up and running that I inadvertently set the language to Chinese. It was a long and arduous task – 長和艱鉅任務 – coaxing it back to French, but I definitely felt it was a sign; in future I’m off to Beijing to buy my phones – it’ll be far less hassle and I’m keen to test my new-found language skills.
This recipe uses raw cocoa powder which means that the cocoa beans have been processed without using the high temperatures detrimental to its nutritional content. Raw cocoa powder contains natural mood stimulants as well as arginine, an essential amino acid that helps to reduce blood pressure. It is also a very rich source of antioxidants and vitamins and minerals, including high levels of magnesium to aid heart health, build strong bones and relax the muscles and the mind.
Ingredients
100g spelt flour
75g almond flour
75g raw cocoa powder (can be replaced by regular cocoa powder)
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
125g butter
125g extra virgin organic coconut oil
200g cane sugar
4 large organic eggs
1 teaspoons almond essence
2 tablespoon rum
Sift the flours, cocoa powder, baking powder and bicarbonate of soda together and set aside. Cut the butter and coconut oil into cubes and leave to soften at room temperature for a few minutes. Beat with an electric mixer for about ten minutes until fluffy and then gradually add the sugar, continuing to beat. Add the eggs one at a time and whisk for another few minutes. Lastly, add the rum and almond essence and gently fold in the flour. Transfer the mixture to a buttered loaf tin and cook in a non-preheated oven at 160°C for about an hour, or until a skewer comes out clean. Leave to cool in the tin.
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Apple and blueberry buckwheat cake and a mouse in the house
The New Year brought an uninvited house guest: A mouse. At least I think he was uninvited. Maybe one of the dogs coaxed him in to annoy me. Not that I really have anything against him, in fact he’s quite sweet. But I admit I was rather taken aback this morning when I found him trying to chew his way through the top of my multivitamins. I tried to persuade him to leave, but he tilted his head to one side and looked at me quizzically as if to say ‘and your problem with me necking your vitamins is?’. I appealed to the dogs for some backup, but Hugo just sighed loudly and gave me a slightly contemptuous look that definitely said ‘wha’ever’. And Java, bless her, did her funny cross-eyed thing because the mouse is so small that I suspect she could hardly see it. In the meantime, the little rascal is making impressive headway through my vitamins and I’m afraid he’s going to end up the size of a small cat. Still, at least if he does Java will finally see him and perhaps spring into action…
There is quite a lot in the news at the moment about the ‘Sirt Food Diet’. I don’t usually pay much attention to the multitude of faddy diet books that appears on a regular basis, but this one makes some sense, even to me. I particularly like that its main objective is healthy eating and that weight loss is just a by-product of that. And I know that it is effective because I’ve been eating these foods for a number of years (before it even had a name!). The Sirt Food diet is so-called because it involves consuming foods containing compounds known as sirtuin activators, which cause body fat to be burned and muscle mass to develop (what’s not to like?). Eating these foods increases metabolism and strengthens the immune system. Sirtuin activators include buckwheat, apples, onions, almonds, walnuts, citrus fruits, chocolate, red wine, turmeric and blueberries, which frankly makes this cake a Sirt Food dieter’s dream!
Ingredients (serves 8)
For the topping:
3 apples, peeled and cut into slices
75g blueberries
25g salted butter
2 tablespoons maple syrup
For the cake:
75g butter, cut into cubes
75g organic virgin coconut oil, cut into cubes
100g cane sugar
2 large free-range eggs, beaten
75g buckwheat flour
75g ground almonds
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Caramelise the apples in a little water, adding the butter and maple syrup once softened. Add the blueberries last . Set aside. Place the sugar, butter and coconut oil into a mixing bowl and cream until pale and fluffy. Gradually add the beaten eggs, adding a bit of flour if the mixture begins to curdle. Continue to beat the mixture until fluffy. Fold in the remaining flour, ground almonds, baking powder and cinnamon.
Transfer the apple and blueberry mixture into the bottom of a greased bundt cake mould (I use a silicon one), levelling well with the back of a spoon. Then pour the cake mixture over the top. Bake for about 40 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Leave to cool. Delicious served with Greek yoghurt. -
Spicy carrot cake and a ladies’ horse
I don’t really understand girls. I thought I did, but I don’t. Océane (the only mare of the four horses), took an instant, irrational dislike to Bijou (the four-year-old with a ditch problem) when he first arrived. In fact, she was so aggressive and unpleasant that he ended up covered with tooth and hoof marks and they had to be separated. Yesterday, having spent the whole previous night loudly whinnying for her long-lost love, she barged her way through the electric fence (which made The Tall One very cross) and hasn’t left his side since. At one point, Bijou, in an attempt to free himself from her neediness, jumped out of the field. This sent her positively hysterical and she bucked and called after him until he’d been rounded up and returned to her side. Still, at least with all her silliness I added a new word to my already fairly extensive vocabulary: Fickle.
Which brings me to Java. Having once been absolutely terrified of horses (or the ‘gigantic dogs’ as she calls them, bless her) she now chases Bijou around the field until she manages to grab his tail between her teeth. Then she doesn’t let go until he’s galloping faster than she can run, which, although it pains me to say it, is pretty fast. It exhausts me just watching them. So what is it with the girls and Bijou? He must have hidden powers of seduction, although I fail to see how he can be more charming than me…
I assume that this carrot cake must be for the horses; they’re the only ones silly enough to eat a cake made with carrots and apples. I’m not a fan obviously, but according to everyone else it is very tasty.
Ingredients (serves 16)
250ml olive oil
175g cane sugar
4 eggs
250g carrots, grated
100g apple, grated
100g ground almonds
150g spelt flour (or wheat flour)
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
Pinch of salt
1 level teaspoon garam masala (or allspice)
1 level teaspoon ground ginger
75g raisins pre-soaked in rum
100g walnuts, chopped
Grease and prepare a medium-size cake tin and preheat the oven to 180°C. Place the oil and sugar in a mixing bowl and beat well. Add the eggs and continue to beat until the mixture becomes pale in colour. Add the grated apple and carrots to the mix and then fold in the almonds, flour, bicarbonate of soda, baking powder, seasoning and spices. Lastly stir in the raisins and walnuts and transfer to the cake tin. Bake for 50 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. -
Peach muffins and broken bone competitions
Since the beginning of the summer holidays, Léo has been sporting a hefty plaster cast on his broken left arm (his third to date). Unfortunate at the best of times, but even more uncomfortable and itchy when temperatures are in the high 30s. We went to the pharmacy to pick up his painkillers and someone in the queue (there are always woe-laden queues in French pharmacies) – very helpfully I thought – started to list all the things he wouldn’t be able to do this summer: tennis, beach, pool, riding, rafting, mountain biking, skateboarding, windsurfing… As Léo’s face started to drop, I decided to whisk him away before she could delight us any further. We went for a drink in a café to boost our spirits, where the owner immediately started to regale us with in-depth tales of her multiple fractures, insisting on how lucky Léo was not to have broken his leg. We downed our drinks before her competitiveness got the better of her and she felt compelled to produce any further anecdotes to ‘out fracture’ him. I was very tempted to stop at the pharmacy on the way home for a heavy-duty anti-depressant for both of us, but decided against it in case we bumped into anyone else wanting to contribute to the list of Things We Won’t Be Able To Do This Summer.
The powdered hazelnut in these muffins is rich in the bone-building – or rebuilding as the case may be – minerals calcium, magnesium and potassium.
Ingredients (makes 12)
100ml olive oil
100g cane sugar
2 organic eggs
150g spelt flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
100g ground hazelnuts
Pinch of salt
1 teaspoon garam masala
50ml yogurt (or milk)
2 peaches, peeled, and cut into rough cubes
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Place the olive oil and sugar in a mixing bowl and beat until pale. Add a spoonful of flour, beat again, then add the eggs, beating further until the mixture is light and fluffy, adding a little more flour to prevent curdling if necessary. Gently fold in the rest of the flour, baking powder, ground hazelnuts, seasoning and yoghurt and combine. Lastly, gently fold in the peaches. Spoon the mixture into muffin trays and bake for 25 minutes. -
Banana tart and rabbits might fly
I think that Java might have experienced what we psychologists refer to as a psychotic break. Being surrounded by creatures – human and animal – of questionable sanity, I recently felt the need to go on a course, which is how I am in a position to say this. I’m not sure whether I should mention my diagnosis to Bossy or not; she thinks Java’s just an adorable scatterbrain and I don’t really want to be the one to break the bad news. Anyway, Java spends hours every morning and every evening gazing at baby rabbits with her head cocked and one foot in the air. She looks, frankly, more than a little bit foolish, and that’s being charitable. I mean, she’s a hunting dog so you’d think she’d try to catch them instead of staring at them gormlessly. I know that she’s bred to hunt birds, but it’s still very odd. I think that she’s probably waiting for them to spread their wings and fly away, but in view of the fact that they’re rabbits, that’s just not going to happen. I don’t put her straight though because while she’s busy being half-witted, I get some uninterrupted peace.
Ingredients (serves 6)
Pastry:
80g coconut oil
150g spelt flour
35g dessicated coconut
Pinch of sea salt
Roughly 6 tablespoons of cold water
Filling:
3 medium-sized bananas, sliced into 1cm pieces
2 eggs, beaten
50g coconut sugar
30g desiccated coconut
1 teaspoon vanilla essence
200ml double cream
1 teaspoon rum
½ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon nutmeg
To make the pastry, begin by cutting coconut oil into small cubes. Add this to the flour and desiccated coconut with a pinch of salt in a mixing bowl. Blend by hand until the mixture becomes crumbly. Add the cold water, mixing with a spoon. Remove the mixture from the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until you obtain a ball of pastry (if the mixture isn’t ‘sticky’ enough to form a ball, you may need a drop more water). Wrap in a clean cotton tea towel or some cling film and leave to ‘rest’ in the fridge for about two hours. This relaxes the dough and makes it easier to use.
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Roll out the pastry on a clean, lightly floured surface and fill the tart tin. Cook the pastry for 15 minutes. Arrange the bananas evenly over the surface of the pre-cooked tart. Add the eggs, coconut sugar, desiccated coconut, vanilla essence, cream, rum, cinnamon and nutmeg to a bowl and combine to create a homogenous mixture. Pour over the bananas and cook for 30 minutes, or until the filling is no longer wobbly. Delicious served either lukewarm or chilled.
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Peach pancakes and feeding frenzy
We have a neighbour’s dog to stay at the moment and also a new young horse, bought on the admittedly shaky premise that one can never have too many horses. As it’s very hot, I got up extra early this morning to feed/medicate/placate the animals and felt really rather virtuous. More fool me. I fed the foal, not forgetting his ‘growing horse’ supplement, extra virgin olive oil and generous application of sunblock to his nose, and gave the hens their corn. I then fed the dogs, each of which has a different food and quantity. Feeling quite proud at having fed 12 animals in under five minutes, I returned to the kitchen to prepare my own ‘feed’. Glancing out of the window, I saw the 31-year-old retiree, having appeared from nowhere, polishing off the foal’s feed; the foal was happily sharing the hens’ whole corn kernels, sun-blocked nose to the ground; Hugo was making impressive headway through the guest’s bowl; Java was inhaling Hugo’s ration, which left our poor guest who is far too polite to kick up a fuss, with a small bowl of puppy food. The moral of the anecdote is this: if you’re under the impression that you’ve been unusually quick and efficient, think again…
Ingredients (makes about 8 pancakes)
3 eggs, beaten
250ml almond milk (or normal milk)
100g ground almonds
150g spelt flour (or normal flour)
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
Pinch of sea salt
3 peaches, peeled and cut into rough cubes
1 teaspoon garam masala
Coconut oil for frying (you could use butter)
Mix the eggs with the milk. Sift the ground almonds, flour, bicarbonate of soda and salt together in a bowl and gradually add to the egg/milk mixture. Combine well and add the peaches and garam masala. Refrigerate for at least an hour. Heat a teaspoon of coconut oil in a frying pan and drop a large spoonful of pancake batter into the pan. Cook until golden brown, flip and repeat.
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The emperor’s cakes (gateaux de l’empereur) and a loud-mouthed mother
It’s tennis tournament time again and, despite my best efforts, my perennial Tournament Tourettes has kicked in with a vengeance. As yet, I have been unable to locate a suitably effective gag for myself but, if I find one, I will be sure to buy a couple because there have been a few occasions when also gagging the opponent’s parents would have been advantageous. I admit that it’s not really fair play to yell ‘leave it – it’s going out’ or ‘yesssss!’ as Léo’s poor opponent hits the ball into the net, but one glimpse of fluorescent yellow balls and apparently I become one of Those Mothers. Despite, or perhaps thanks to, my ‘help’, Léo is through to the finals which are to be played on Sunday when, to the delight of all and sundry, I predict my Tennis Tournament Tourettes will reach a resounding crescendo. Due to a pitiful lack of gag shops around here, I can only keep my fingers crossed for a debilitating case of laryngitis…
These French delicacies (Gateaux de l’Empereur) are a cross between a biscuit and a cake. Apparently they were originally made for a banquet given in honour of Charles IV. There are many different variations.
Ingredients
4 eggs
250g cane sugar
250g powdered almonds (or powdered hazelnuts)
250g raisins
250g spelt flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Prepare a baking tray by covering with greaseproof paper. Beat the eggs and sugar together until pale. Combine the almonds, raisins, flour and baking powder in a separate bowl and gradually add to the egg/sugar mixture to obtain an thick paste. Spread over the greaseproof paper on the baking tray and bake for 25 minutes. Cut into squares while still warm. Keeps in an airtight tin for several weeks. -
Coconut cake and Hugo’s scuppered plans
I would like to set the record straight about my recent excavation venture, because I thought that Bossy portrayed me as a bit of a halfwit by suggesting that I was stuck down my magnificent hole. I admit that I did let her haul me out with a rope (there was lots of swearing on her part), but only to shut her up. The plan was, once I’d finished what I’d set out to do (we won’t go into details to spare any squeamish readers), I was going to create a tunnel back to the top at a gradient of about 30%. Of course, this would have taken quite a long time and I’m not sure where I would have ended up, but anything that gets me away from Bossy’s incessant blabbering and Java’s stubborn insubordination can only be a good thing. As an aside, are you impressed at how my vocabulary is becoming more and more sophisticated? Bossy says that I must be careful to avoid becoming too verbose, although she’s a fine one to talk. Anyway, the upside was, she was so convinced that I had been traumatised by my adventure, when we got home she gave me an extra-large piece of camembert. Sometimes it pays to just go with the flow…
Thank you Hugo for telling your side of the story, although I think we could have done without the reference to my ‘blabbering’! This wonderfully light cake is inspired by ‘Love, bake, nourish’.
Ingredients (serves 8-10)
175g spelt flour
120g desiccated coconut
1 teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
75g cane sugar
1 egg, beaten
200ml coconut milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Grease and prepare a medium-sized loaf tin. Combine the flour, coconut, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda and sugar in a large bowl and then add the egg, coconut milk and vanilla extract. Mix thoroughly and transfer into the prepared tin. Bake for about 35 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Leave to cool and serve with strawberry coulis or Greek yoghurt (or both!).
