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Dorset apple cake and disruptive females
I had hoped to find the time to sit down at my computer and write this post before now, but, once again, I’ve been absolutely rushed off my paws. I can’t let Java out of my sight for a minute without her getting up to something unthinkable (three pairs of riding boots and a school bag became history in the space of a week) and Bossy is being almost as troublesome. I suspect they might be in competition; could it be a girl thing? I think Bossy must be a bit vain because she thinks that she is capable of operating electronic equipment sans glasses (did you notice my subtle but appropriate use of a French word there? I am a sophisticated bilingual dog). Anyway, she appears convinced that repeatedly jabbing at every single button on the dishwasher/washing machine/television will help them work. Not so – we’ve been visited by three different men in white vans full of tools during the past few days. Luckily the Tall One seems to find it amusing, although I’m not sure why.
I commissioned my new byline picture from my favourite artist as it looks as though Java is going to become a fixture. I’m very pleased with it because it perfectly portrays my gravitas and her inconsequence. I hope you like it too.
Thank you Hugo for your contribution, although I’m not sure it’s altogether flattering. This simple cake is a cross between a cake and a scone. It’s not too sweet and delicious served warm or cold with some Greek yoghurt or ice cream.
Ingredients (serves 8)
250g spelt flour
Pinch of salt
50g salted butter
50g organic coconut oil
2 cooking apples, cored, peeled and diced
50g sultanas
75g cane sugar
1 egg, beaten
2 tablespoons of milk
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Place the flour in a bowl with the butter and coconut oil. Rub in the fats until the mixture resembles fine crumbs. Stir in the apples, sultanas and sugar, then add the egg and milk and mix to a firm dough. Transfer the mixture to greased, medium-sized loaf tin, levelling the surface with your fingertips. Bake for about 40 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean. -
Celeriac gratin and Hugo the sage
I’m thinking about leaving home. Bossy would obviously try to stop me because I’m quite a catch as dogs go. It’s not that I don’t like it here; the food’s not bad most of the time, the scenery is pretty enough, I’m more or less allowed to do whatever I like (except kill hens, which is very frustrating for me – to the point that I may even be psychologically damaged). I’m just getting a bit fed up of all the baby animals that keep popping up. There have been rabbits, kittens, hedgehogs, birds, foals and now a damned puppy of all things! I suppose I must have been a puppy once, but I’m sure that I would have been an extremely well-behaved one. It stands to reason. Secretly I have to admit that Java’s really rather sweet, but her shenanigans are beyond me. For example, why would you plunge into a ditch that you know you have absolutely no hope of getting out of on your own? It’s just silly of her to try to copy me because I have a magnificently muscular male physique and she is, frankly, just a silly slip of a girl. Maybe I’m going to have to stay after all because someone’s going to have to show her the ropes and I can just imagine the chaos if I leave it to Bossy. One thing is certain: Java’s not going to be helping me to write my column anytime soon because she doesn’t even know how to read and write yet!
Thank you Hugo! I very much hope you decide to stay.
Just as I make use of a large variety of grains, I also try to vary the root vegetables we eat as much as possible. We eat potatoes, for example, quite rarely as there are so many other things to chose from – sweet potatoes, swedes, turnips, parsnips and one of my favourites: celeriac.
Celeriac is very rich in antioxidants and a good source of vitamin K. It also provides essential minerals such as phosphorus, iron, calcium, copper and manganese, as well as B-complex vitamins.
This recipe is adapted from Jamie Oliver.
Ingredients (serves 4)
1 large celeriac, peeled and cut into 1cm slices
2 large potatoes, peeled and cut into 1cm slices
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 chilli pepper, finely sliced
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
400ml cream
200ml vegetable stock
4 anchovy filets
75g hard cheese (I used Comté), grated
Preheat the oven to 190°C. Place the celeriac, potatoes, garlic and chilli pepper in a large ovenproof dish and season. Add the cream, stock, anchovies and most of the cheese. Mix everything well and then sprinkle the remaining cheese on top. Bake in the preheated oven for 50 minutes until golden brown and bubbling on top. -
New potato oven raclette and a dog at the end of his tether
My patience has reached its limits, especially when it comes to pests with wings. I thought we’d seen the back of the tweeting squatter after I had explained (with my teeth showing) that she had delighted us long enough with her presence. I think that my natural assertiveness must be very intimidating because she flew off that very evening. I thought that was that; alas I was mistaken. She comes back at least once or twice every single day for a bellyful of couscous and special dove grains and a snooze. How can she possibly be so hungry and so tired? It’s not as if she has a proper job like me. What annoys me most is how pleased they always are to see her. She fascinates them so much (why?) that they sometimes forget to give me my camembert after lunch, which makes me feel unloved. And as if all this isn’t irritating and hurtful enough, a large bird with a long neck has also turned up. It’s called a heron apparently and thank goodness it doesn’t come into the house because it’s very big indeed. All in all, I’ve had it up to the back of my impressive canines with anything that flaps or chirps. This raclette dish isn’t my favourite, although they seemed to love it for some reason. The upside, however, is that it contains cheese, which is not at all good for birds, so that can only be a good thing.
Ingredients (serves 4)
225g new potatoes, cooked
1 tablespoon olive oil
100g raclette cheese, grated (although any hard cheese will work)
1 medium-sized onion, finely sliced
4 slices Bayonne ham, roughly cut into strips (or Parma ham)
Sea salt, freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
4 or 5 leaves of fresh basil to garnish
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Prepare a medium-sized oven-proof dish by greasing with olive oil. Slice the potatoes into pieces roughly 3mm thick and create a layer on the bottom of the dish, sprinkle with cheese, add a few strips of ham and onion and continue layering until everything is used up. Make sure to save a bit of cheese to sprinkle on top along with the seasoning. Cook for 40 minutes, garnish with the basil leaves and serve with crisp green salad. And don’t listen to Hugo – it’s divine!
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Summer fruitcake and a ladies’ dog
When Bossy wrote about my last visit to the vet, it wasn’t very complimentary, so, in the interests of accuracy, I’m doing this one. I behaved beautifully in the car, even though I have never understood why they insist on putting me in the boot. I didn’t even bark or throw myself against the car windows when I saw other animals. When we arrived, I amused myself by playing on the scales. If you stand on them with two legs instead of four you lose weight and if you get on and off enough times you send the electronics doolally and they stop working altogether *very naughty chortle*. Then a bitch arrived and things went downhill. I think it was love at first sight for her because, after just one look at me, she started straining on her lead so much that her owner became quite red in the face and started saying words that I’d never heard before. Although she wasn’t really my sort, I reciprocated by howling like a wolf – a very very loud wolf – to be polite. She obviously saw this as a come-on because she became quite hysterical – so much so that she scared me a bit and I had to hide behind Bossy and Noisy’s chairs. The vet lady came out of her office and told us both off, although it was quite obviously the bitch’s fault and not mine. She was sent off to wait in her car in the end. I think I might have to stop going to see the vet because it’s very tricky and really rather tiring being so irresistible to lady dogs, especially in public places.
Ingredients (serves 8)
400g soft fruit, stoned and cut into cubes (I used apricots, plums and blackberries)
2 tablespoons of honey
100g ground almonds
80g spelt flour
50g buckwheat flour
6 cardamon pods, crushed keeping the seeds
1 teaspoon garam masala
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
80g soft brown sugar
3 eggs
100ml olive oil
150ml plain yoghurt
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Add the fruit and honey to a saucepan and gently heat until softened. Mix the ground almonds, flours, spices, bicarbonate of soda and spices in a bowl and set aside. Whisk the sugar and eggs together until well combined and then add the olive oil and yoghurt. Add the flour mixture to the wet mixture and then stir in the fruit. Pour the mixture into a buttered medium-sized cake tin and bake for 40 minutes or until a fork comes out clean. -
Writing Process Blog Tour
I would like to thank Suzanne, creator of the luscious blog, A pug in the kitchen, for asking me to contribute to this tour. Suzanne blogs, amongst other things, recipes passed on from her Italian mother; traditional Italian cooking at its most mouth-watering. Passionate about baking in particular, she is also a developer for Food 52. She writes from her kitchen in Brooklyn, accompanied by her two gorgeous pugs, Izzy and Nando. One of my favourite recipes is her triple chocolate cake which is just pure decadence to be enjoyed with moderation as it could become dangerously addictive!
Other commitments mean that I’m delegating the rest of this post to my ‘pug’, Hugo.
As you can see, Bossy has relegated this post to me. From what I can see, she’s not too busy with ‘other commitments’ at all – she’s just too busy being bossy (did you like the alliteration? I’m still learning about poetry.) Anyway, I’m always happy to get my paws on the computer, so I’m not going to complain to my union this time. I like Mrs Pug’s blog very much because she cooks real food with proper dog-friendly ingredients. Bossy has a tendancy to use strange ingredients that get stuck in your teeth. (Chia seeds for example. What are they and why do we need to be bothered by them?). I’m rather jealous of Izzy and Nando because Mrs Pug cooks for them every day and I just get the family’s leftovers *tragic doggie sigh*. They live in a very big city – New Yorkie I think. I suppose when they chase deer and rabbits they have to be careful of all the cars. Here are the questions that Bossy had to answer. I think that my answers (in italics) are closer to the truth than hers.
1) What are you working on?
(Hopefully she’s working on being less bossy and organised enough to cook for me every day.)
Bossy: I work on far too many projects at any given time for them to come to fruition. I suppose this means that I should probably work on being more focused.
2) How does my work differ from others of its genre?
(Well for a start she is lucky enough to live with an erudite and exceedingly good-natured dog who does most of her work for her.)
Bossy: Although I am absolutely passionate about healthy eating, I hope that I manage to impart my knowledge and ideas without being too evangelical. I believe that it’s up to each individual to take responsibility for their own well-being. I am a also a great believer in ‘all things in moderation’, which is why I’m not vegetarian.
3) Why do I write what I do?
(Because despite what she says, her bossiness gets the better of her and she thinks that everyone should cook as she does.)
Bossy: See above (mine, not Hugo’s. 😉 )
4) How does your writing process work?
(I can’t wait to see this! *sarcastic doggie snigger*. I have never seen such a chaotic ‘writing process’. I’m far more methodical.)
Bossy: I think that in my case, the word ‘process’ is probably rather inappropriate! How I write is probably better described as a profusion of chaotic thoughts that somehow end up either on paper or on a computer at some point, more or less coherently. I am a big believer in ‘a sound mind in a sound body’ and my best ideas come to me when I’m on the move, particularly walking. I always walk with a little notebook and pen and scribble ideas down between strident reprimands to leave the poor deer and bunny rabbits alone.
Bossy asked me to invite a blogger to participate in this tour and I have chosen the delightful blog 10 legs in the kitchen. At first I couldn’t work out who the ten legs belonged to until I realised that it was two human legs and eight doggie legs. I don’t even like to think how many legs there are in our kitchen sometimes, particularly when the chickens invade. Stacey and sometimes her dogs, Ginger and Buddy, write amusingly about their love for both food and life in general and I’m a big fan. -
Coffee walnut muffins and unusual best friends
My best friend is a hen. Our friendship is based on mutual compassion – we are both victims of misunderstanding. The other day I was given some chicken bones to eat and, because I’m a generous sort of dog, I invited BHF to share them. I made it plain to the other hens that she was the only one invited; they tend towards vulgar, thuggish behaviour and gate-crashing. Luckily, I can be very intimidating *grrrr* , so they quickly got the message. I’m not sure that BHF knew she was cannibalising, but I didn’t explain because I know she has enough problems and a rather sensitive nature. Sometimes, when Bossy isn’t looking, I invite her into the house to eat from my food bowl. I’m working on a plan to sneak her in to watch television with me. My favourite programme is Scooby Doo and I think she’d like it too (did you like the internal rhyme? I’m learning about poetry at the moment). I think you’d agree that it would be worth it just to see Bossy in full meltdown mode *wicked doggy cackle*.
Walnuts are a rich source of omega 3 fatty acid (just 25g a day covers most of your needs). They are also very rich in vitamin E and other antioxidants, as well as providing a healthy supply of B-complex vitamins. Added to this, they contain numerous minerals: manganese, copper, potassium, calcium, iron, magnesium, zinc, and selenium.Ingredients (makes 12)
175g spelt flour
100g rye flour
Pinch of sea salt
I heaped tablespoon instant coffee
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon ginger, powder or freshly grated
3 eggs
250ml coconut milk
4 tablespoons honey
60g chopped walnuts
150g organic virgin coconut oil, melted
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Prepare and grease two muffin tins with butter or coconut oil. Sift the flours, salt, coffee powder, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda and ginger into a large mixing bowl and set aside. In a separate bowl, beat the eggs and then add the coconut milk, honey, walnuts and melted coconut oil, stirring constantly. Combine the two mixtures well. Fill the muffin tins and bake for about 18 minutes.
Delicious served hot or cold as a dessert with Greek yoghurt or ice-cream, or alone with a cup of coffee.
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Pea and mint soup and Hugo’s new byline
I recently joined the NUDJ (National Union of Dog Journalists) because Bossy can be inclined to take advantage of my good nature. I also decided that I needed a proper byline and my favourite artist submitted a few pwoofs that you can see above and below. I quite like them, although I do wonder whether they properly portray the fact that I am a sophisticated dog of great intellectual gravitas… I would appreciate your opinions.
I’ve been rushed off my paws even more than usual this week; we are in the throes of a baby deer boom. These baby deer have no sense of territory or propriety, which is quite exhausting. And as if this isn’t taxing enough, a family of ducks has moved in without so much as a by-your-leave. They quack very loudly all night and stop me from sleeping. As I work until at least midnight every night, I need all the rest I can get *bone-tired doggie sigh*. When I get time, I shall write to my union about all this noise and overtime.
To be honest, this pea soup is as dull as ditchwater. I’ve never been keen on green-coloured food because, in my world, green means that it’s gone bad. Still, they all seemed to like it, although the Noisy One appears to share my suspicion of anything green.
I’m sorry this soup doesn’t meet with your approval Hugo, although, as this is a healthy eating blog, you might want to dilute your opinion on green things a little bit for next time? I thought it was a particularly delicious Spring soup and will certainly make it again. Peas are sometimes referred to as ‘nature’s multivitamin’, as they contain no fewer than eight vitamins and seven minerals. They are also a good source of fibre and protein and lower the overall glycemic index of any dish to which they are added.
This soup is adapted from a recipe in Anthony Worrall Thompson’s excellent book, ‘GI Diet’.
Ingredients (serves 4 – 6)
10g salted butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 onion, peeled and chopped
2 leeks, washed and chopped
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
275g peas, fresh or frozen
1 large courgette, washed and chopped
1 litre chicken or vegetable stock
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
1 tablespoon fresh mint, finely chopped
Melt the butter in a large saucepan with the olive oil. Add the onion, leeks and garlic and gently soften. Add the peas, courgette and stock and bring to the boil. Add the seasoning and cook until the peas and courgette are tender (about 20 minutes). Add the mint and purée until smooth. -
Cheesy cornbread and downwardly mobile dogs
by Hugo,
Canine Correspondent
I’ve been chewing something over for a while now: Why are humans the only race that don’t automatically stretch when they get up? Dogs stretch, horses stretch, cats stretch and even hens who, let’s face it, aren’t the brightest, stretch. Humans like to think they rule the roost, but they’re not always very clever when it comes to basic body-maintenance. Bossy often complains (loudly and at length) about her hurt back and she sometimes goes to the bone doctor. What a lovely job that must be, specialising in bones. I must look into that – I’m sure it would be a good job for me.
Bossy has also taken to lying on a soft blue mat (which makes very satisfactory chewing material) and bending her body into most unhuman positions; she looks a bit silly actually. Apparently it’s called yoga. At first I thought it was just a phrase, but she does it quite regularly. When I have time, I show her how it should be done properly. Usually the Tall One or the Noisy One interrupts to try to talk to her and they get very short shrift indeed. I like to lie on the soft blue mat with her, but she doesn’t seem to like that either. All in all, she’s not very easy to please *desolate doggie sigh*.
Thank you Hugo, not only for writing today’s blog, but also for the invaluable ‘tips’. This cornbread is based on a Jamie Oliver recipe.
Ingredients (serves 10)
60g butter
2 onions, peeled and thinly sliced
1 small tin of sweetcorn, drained and rinsed
4 large free-range eggs, beaten
325g polenta (or cornmeal)
250ml full-fat milk
1 teaspoon baking powder
6 tablespoons spelt flour
sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
140g hard cheese (I used Cheddar and Parmesan), grated
Preheat the oven to 200°C and grease a 22cm cake tin with olive oil. Gently fry the onions in melted butter for about 15 minutes until golden and sticky. Add the sweetcorn and cook for a further five minutes. Remove from heat and set aside. Mix the eggs, polenta, milk, baking powder, flour and seasoning in a bowl. Add most of the grated cheese and mix well. Stir in the onion and corn. Pour the mixture into the cake tin. Bake for 35 minutes, remove from the oven and sprinkle the remaining grated cheese on top and return to the oven for ten minutes. Delicious served still warm from the oven or cold. -
Leek crumble and Hugo’s story
by Hugo, Canine Correspondent
I’m not a naughty dog. I do have my limits though and when Bossy and Noisy recently loaded their bags into the car and made it clear that I wasn’t going to accompany them, I reached mine. I dragged my rug out to the car and made myself a little nest amongst the suitcases, but they ended up leaving without me all the same. The trouble is this: no Bossy, no proper meals! (He gets invited to eat with the neighbour). Worse still, no camembert at lunchtime (I have my own special supply). So I ran away. Actually I ran further than I meant to and ended up getting lost. Apparently I was about 6 kms away. A very nice lady found me and made me a big bowl of pasta — I must have looked very thin, sad and hungry, which was almost certainly due to ACD (acute cheese deprivation). 🙁 The kind lady also took lots and lots of photos of me and kept stroking me and saying how handsome I was. It took her quite a long time to track down Bossy’s husband, because I’d also lost my collar with my ‘phone number on it. Anyway, Bossy and Noisy reappeared quite soon after I had arrived back home and, going by the look on Bossy’s face, she’ll think twice before heartlessly abandoning me in a camembert-free environment again *manipulative snigger*.
This savoury crumble is an adaptation of a Marcus Wareing recipe. It’s a meal in itself really, although it could also be served as an accompaniment.
Ingredients (serves 4)
2 red onions, quartered
1 garlic clove, peeled and crushed
4 leeks, washed and sliced into 2 cm rounds
4 mushrooms, peeled and sliced
50g butter
50g spelt flour
200 ml chicken or vegetable stock
200ml milk
50g roquefort cheese, crumbled (any blue cheese will work)
1 tablespoon French mustard
Sea salt, freshly-ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
For the crumble topping:
100g spelt flour
75g chickpea flour
25g butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
100g comté cheese, grated (or another hard cheese)
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Gently fry the onions, garlic, leeks and mushrooms until lightly cooked (about 5 minutes). Place in an ovenproof dish and set aside. Melt the butter in a medium-sized saucepan and then add the flour, combining well to form a paste. Gradually add the stock and then the milk, whisking well all then time to prevent lumps from forming. Continue to cook until,the sauce is quite thick and then add the mustard, seasoning and cheese. Mix well until the cheese has melted and pour over the vegetables.
To make the crumble topping, mix the flour and seasoning together and rub in the butter and then stir in the olive oil. Add the grated cheese, mixing well and spread over the leeks and sauce. Bake for about 25 minutes until the topping is golden brown. -
French lentil salad with egg and Feta and big noisy puddles
by Hugo, Canine Correspondent
Yesterday we went to visit a huge, noisy puddle. I don’t totally understand how the puddle came about as it hasn’t rained very much recently. Still, I’m only a dog – I can’t be expected to understand everything. They sometimes visit the puddle without me after the first time when I refused to get out of the car. Obviously I wasn’t frightened or anything (I’m a big black scary dog after all), but I didn’t see what there was to get excited about and I’m not a fan of loud noises.
Here is a photo of me in front of the puddle (if I look a bit sad it’s because I had just been told off for spraying sand into their lunch). I wanted to swim but, unlike the puddles near the house, this one moves too much and I find that annoying – it should decide where it wants to be and stick to it. I had great fun chasing away all the noisy white hens though (I assume they were hens – they made an awful racket)…
Everyone seemed to find this lentil salad delicious, although it’s not my bag at all. If dogs were meant to eat lentils they’d be born with big floppy ears and a fluffy tail.
Ingredients (serves 4)
250g Puy lentils, cooked according to instructions
2 tablespoon virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 red onion, finely diced
1 carrot, finely diced
8 cherry tomatoes, halved
1 stalk celery, finely diced
2 tablespoons of diced cucumber
100g feta cheese, crumbled
4 free-range organic eggs, softly boiled
4 anchovies
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
½ teaspoon paprika
Place the cooked, drained lentils into a salad bowl with the onion, carrot, tomatoes, celery and cucumber. Add the olive oil, lemon juice and salt and pepper and toss well. Crumble the Feta cheese over the top, followed by the halved eggs and anchovies. Sprinkle with paprika and serve.
