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In memory of Isabelle
A month ago a very old friend of mine lost her 18-year-old daughter, Isabelle, to EHE (epithelioid hemangioendothelioma) after a long and very brave fight. EHE is little-known, rare and vastly underfunded form of cancer, and my friend and her family are now determined to raise both awareness and funds to perhaps help prevent others from suffering a similar tragedy. So this is for Claire-Anne, OJ and Sebastian; in memory of your beautiful daughter and twin sister, Isabelle. This is their story:As some of you know, 12 months ago our world was blown apart when our 17 year old daughter Isabelle, following two years of increasing neck pain, was diagnosed with an extremely rare cancer epithelioid hemangioendothelioma (EHE for short). Instead of enjoying friendships, worrying about end of school exams and planning her future life after school, she was thrust into a world of hospitals, IV drips, pain and fear.
In March 2017 she underwent major surgery to her neck and spine. From May-July she received radiation and proton treatment which removed the cancer but left her virtually unable to swallow. In August she started having agonising chest pain, only to then be told the cancer was now in her left lung. As a result in September she started receiving aggressive chemo, which led her to spend weeks in hospital due to the side effects and numerous complications. In short, to quote Isabelle, ‘life sucks’.
EHE is a rare vascular tumour that arises from the lining of blood vessels. It can appear almost anywhere in the body, but common sites include the liver, lungs, and bones. The cause of EHE is presently unknown, and no proven treatments exist. EHE tumours can behave differently from one patient to the next, with some being stable for years while others progress quickly. The cancer often metastases throughout the body and possesses the ability to transform into an extremely aggressive state with little or no warning. In short, EHE is an unpredictable disease.
The EHE Rare Cancer Charity is fighting back by funding research into finding a cure and provides invaluable support and information to patients and families like us, whose lives are affected by this devastating disease. Sadly however, very rare cancer research gets no funding from governments, none from the pharmaceutical companies, and almost zero even from the big cancer charities.
Companies and foundations will help but only if we continue to show that we are raising funds too.
Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving – they’ll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they’ll send your money directly to the charity. So it’s the most efficient way to donate – saving time and cutting costs for the charity.
Thank you Claire-Anne, OJ and Sebastian.
Please click here to donate -
Stir-fry scallops and decorating hens
Stir-fry scallops Java has a boyfriend. In fact, she has two. One lives about a kilometre away to the east, and the other a kilometre to the west. At the moment they have different visiting times but, as one of them in particular is making himself more and more at home ‘chez Java’, it’s inevitable that one day they’ll turn up at the same time and I’m afraid it won’t be pretty. Especially if drama llama Java has anything to do with it.
Meanwhile, Hugo is delighted because it gets her off his back for a bit; when either of them turns up, he shrugs a gallic canine shrug, sighs with relief and leaves them to it. There are only two prerequisites to be Java’s dogfriend: speed and stamina (although Hugo would no doubt say stupidity was another one). ‘Dates’ consist of running around the house at break-neck speed for hours on end, stopping only occasionally either to change direction or to slurp noisily from the pool. If they tire before she’s had enough, she barks at them manically. A catch she is not – just ask Hugo.
In other news, I noticed the other day that a couple of the hens had blobs of Farrow and Ball’s ‘Folly Green’ paint on their wings. Thinking that they’d just been hanging out too long in the workshop, I rinsed them down and forgot about it until Luc started to rant that the hens’ ‘tattoos’ had faded. Apparently he’d been colour-coding them according to how many eggs they lay. No doubt this information was to make its way onto a complicated spreadsheet to determine whether they’re paying for their keep, and if not, whether their next port of call should be a Le Creuset casserole dish. As he knows that I refuse to cook any beast that I’ve fed and built up a relationship with, it seems rather futile, but whatever floats his boat. And spreadsheets seem to.
These scallops seemed to float everyone’s boat when I last made them. I served them with rice, but they would be delicious with noodles too.
Recipe for stir-fry scallops (serves 4)
- 4 tablespoons sesame oil
- 10 mushrooms, peeled and sliced
- 1 red onion, peeled and sliced
- 2 small carrots, peeled and sliced
- 75g greens peas
- 1 red pepper, sliced
- 500g scallops
- 2 cloves garlic, crushed
- 2 teaspoons fresh ginger, grated
- 1 teaspoon chilli powder
- 4 tablespoons soya sauce
Heat the sesame soil in a large frying pan or wok, add the mushrooms, onion, carrots, peaks and pepper and stir fry until tender. Add the scallops, garlic, ginger and chilli powder and stir fry for about two minutes or until the scallops become opaque. Add the soya sauce heating for a further minute and serve. I served with a combination of wild rice/thai rice.
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Spicy chicken and coral lentil soup and dog ASBOs
Spicy chicken and coral lentil soup Every time I go to London I’m reminded of just how unruly our dogs are. Dogs in London parks amble around acknowledging each other politely, sometimes stopping for a chat or a bit of a play, then rejoining their owners as soon as they’re called. Our dogs? Not so much; if canine ASBOs were a thing, we would have an impressive collection. Hugo, in his labrador way, does have a certain amount of innate savour faire, but it doesn’t stop him and his 30 kilos from climbing onto unsuspecting visitor’s laps or availing himself of the driving seat of their cars. He also has a tendency to break into neighbour’s kitchens to relieve them of their baguettes.
Last time I visited the vet with Hugo, we were invited to leave by the back door, because his arrival by the front door (for civilised dogs) had created pandemonium. The following week, when I visited with Java, I was allowed to leave by the Door for Civilised Dogs. Big mistake: she launched herself at a pony-sized Pyrenean sheep dog like a tiny heat-seeking missile. Luckily for her, enormous dogs tend to have impeccable manners and gentle dispositions, and he shook her off like an annoying fly. With great shame, I picked her up, seat-belted her into the back of the car and ignored her all the way home.
The dogs have outdone themselves this week though: Hugo got stuck in the car for nearly four hours and we only realised where he was when we heard the car horn tooting persistently. Java, not to be outdone, got herself stuck in the railings of the staircase. Between her wriggling, our giggling, and not knowing whether to push or pull, getting her out was quite a feat.
In hindsight, we should have left her there because on our walk afterwards we met five seriously well-trained and hard-working English Setters with a hunter. (At least they were well-trained until Java intervened – I think she must have revealed a chink in their training armour.) She ran into the midst of the pack, her body quivering with high-spirited enthusiasm, despite her presumably bruised ribs from the staircase debacle, hysterically barking ‘PARTY TIME’ and after that there were six setter reprobates running around like maniacs. I’m off to lie down.
Recipe for spicy chicken and coral lentil soup (serves 6)
- 4 chicken thighs, skin removed
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- Dried rosemary
- Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 1 tablespoon coconut oil
- 1 onion
- 1 celery stick, chopped
- 1 leek, chopped
- 2 carrots, peeled and sliced
- 2 cloves of garlic, crushed
- 2 teaspoons cumin seeds
- 1 teaspoon curry powder
- sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 2 bay leaves
- 3 litres chicken stock
- 250g coral lentils
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Put the chicken thighs into a roasting tin coated in olive oil, dried rosemary and seasoning and roast for about 30 minutes, or until cooked through. Once cooked, cut or rip into pieces, removing from the bone and set aside. Melt the coconut oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Add the onion, celery, leek, carrots and garlic and fry until golden. Then add the seasoning and stock and bring to a simmer. Add the coral lentils and simmer for about 20 minutes (don’t cook the lentils too much or they’ll go mushy). Add the chicken pieces, warm through and serve.
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Roast chicken with chanterelles and way TMI
Roast chicken with chanterelles I am about to embark on my final week of a three-week thermal cure in an attempt to relieve my knackered back. Handily, we live just half an hour away from one of the most renown and effective thermal resorts for my sort of problem in France. For two hours a day, I’m smothered in thick, sticky, mineral-rich mud, the texture of which is not dissimilar to melted chocolate, and then immersed in delicate champagne-like bubbles of pine and mineral-infused water. And then the really tough part: the relaxing therapeutic massage.
Most of the other patrons, although fit enough to withstand the cure which is actually pretty tiring, have various medical complaints, details of which they are only too happy to divulge and contemplate. Yesterday the man in the massage booth next to mine spent a full 20 minutes waxing lyrical about his extensive collection of, frankly, alarming ailments. I was quickly on more familiar terms with his offal — or what was left of it — than I might ideally have liked.
The thing that never ceases to amaze me about the French is the way they consider their maladies to be badges of honour and, as such, refer to them in, if not hushed nonetheless reverential tones. Unfortunately, the massage seemed to have a purging effect on him and the medical technicalities became increasingly gory and colourful. The overall, and in my case faint-making, effect was embellished by the fact that the masseur felt compelled to repeat everything he said REALLY LOUDLY, presumably on the grounds that she shouldn’t be the only one to benefit: ‘So you only have quarter of a kidney left on one side, half a liver and your entrails were scattered all over the operating table…’ I’m so glad I was lying down.
The combination of rain and sun that we’ve had recently means that chanterelle mushrooms are especially plentiful at the moment. Their delicate, slightly earthy flavour is a perfect complement to roast chicken and they are a surprisingly rich source of vitamin D, but also vitamin C and potassium.
Recipe for roast chicken with chanterelles (serves 6)
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 chicken, gutted
- 200g fresh chanterelles
- 4 shallots, peeled and sliced
- 4 cloves of garlic, crushed
- a handful of fresh thyme
- 1 bay leaf
- 4 carrots, peeled and sliced
- Sea salt, freshly ground black pepper
- 1 teaspoon piment d’espelette or paprika
- 200ml dry white wine
- 100ml chicken stock
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Pour the olive oil into a large casserole dish (dutch oven) and add the chicken, chanterelles, shallots, garlic, herbs, carrots and seasoning. Gently brown the chicken on all sides over a medium heat and then add the wine and stock, which should be brought to a simmer. Put the lid on the dish and cook in the oven for just over an hour, or until the ‘sauce’ is beginning to caramelise slightly. You might want to remove the lid for the last ten minutes of cooking. I served with a potato and butternut squash purée and broccoli roasted with orange.
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Salt cod brandade and ask a silly question…
Salt cod brandade 
I’m so glad Bossy doesn’t have my mobile ‘phone number; it’s the only way I’ve found to avoid being the irritated recipient of one of her inane texts. Earlier this week she was fretting about whether Noisy had caught the right bus home. Admittedly his grasp of logistics and time management are, at best, very shaky. But, despite spending much of his time with his head in the clouds, he is still a 15-year-old with an above-average IQ who can usually remember where he lives.Last school year, he was lucky enough to find a very efficient PA who took up the organisational slack and kept him on track. This year, he and the friend are no longer in the same class, hence Bossy’s fretting. Anyway, Bossy’s irrational folly got the better of her and she sent a short text to check he was travelling in the right direction. As the bus doesn’t stop, I really didn’t understand the point; either he was going in the right direction, in which case the text was an annoying waste of time, or he wasn’t in which case it was too late anyway.
So I can only commend his reply: ‘No. Peruvian mutant turtles, having made a lucky escape from a Congolese fruit salad, recruited me for the Norwegian-Chinese mafia. I am currently in a underwater aeroplane with subatomic engines, carrying out biochemical experiments on hamster volunteers. Don’t worry: the Montparnasse tower is not in any immediate danger, and I should manage to finish digging the Dax-Rion tunnel with my Christmas tree. I will be in touch again once I’m within 15 lightyears of your town of residence.’
Obviously his reply begs the question: ‘what does she sprinkle on his breakfast cereal?’, but still: Kudos. Maybe she’ll think twice before sending silly texts again, although somehow I doubt it…
Salt cod brandade originated in Nîmes, in the 18th century.
Recipe for salt cod brandade (serves 4)
- 200g salt cod
- 2 bay leaves
- 1 onion, peeled and sliced
- 500ml milk
- 250g potatoes, peeled and boiled
- 2 cloves garlic
- Freshly ground black pepper
- 1 teaspoon paprika
- 4 tablespoons olive oil
- Freshly grated parmesan for topping
Soak the salt cod in cold water for 24 hours, changing the water once or twice. Drain and place in a pan with the bay leaves, onion and 500ml of milk. Bring to the boil, lower the heat and simmer for five minutes and then drain, removing any bones and skin and breaking the flesh into coarse shreds. Reserve some of the milk for the purée. Cook the potatoes until soft then drain and purée together with the cod, garlic and seasoning in a food processor, adding the olive oil to create a soft consistency (you may need to add a little of the reserved milk to achieve the desired consistency). Place the purée in an oven-proof dish and sprinkle with parmesan. Put in an oven preheated to 180°C for about 20 minutes until golden brown.
This is sometimes served as a dip with toast. I like it as a standalone dish with a crispy green salad. Hugo likes to lick the bowl, although he pretends otherwise.
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Roasted sardines with orange and white wine and round and round the roundabout
Roasted sardines with orange and white wine This summer we visited every single roundabout in France. At least that’s what it felt like; I had never realised just how many roundabouts had sprung up over France until our trip at the beginning of August. I also hadn’t realised just how chatty — and boundlessly repetitive — our satnav lady had become. Bizarrely, she speaks with a very thick Belgian accent which Luc never tires of imitating. This is extremely unhelpful when you’re trying to work out which way to go. The unfortunate combination of Luc’s caricatures and left-right dyslexia, and my innate inability to obey instructions without lengthly debate, meant that Mrs Satnav spent most of the trip saying ‘faites mi-tour dès que possible’ (do an U-turn as soon as possible). At one point we even found ourselves on the motorway headed back in the direction we had come from.
Still on the subject of turning, several people have fallen off their horses on our land recently, which means that we recuperate either riderless horses or horseless riders. We had two riderless horses this week alone, and yesterday we were visited by a handsome Iberian horse called ‘Diablo’ (Devil), who apparently likes to live up to his name. We managed to track down his rider who was still spitting sand, muttering obscenities and wearing the filthiest pair of white jodhpurs I’ve ever seen.
He explained, with a perfectly straight, if rather grubby, face that his problem was that he ‘topples over’ every time his horse changes direction. You couldn’t make it up could you? He seemed to be at his wits’ end so I desperately tried to make a few helpful suggestions, but in all honesty, the best I could come up with was that he take up pétanque or watercolours instead…
Sardines are an ideal source of omega 3 as they contain less mercury than larger fish. They also contain generous amounts of B vitamins, calcium, selenium and phosphorus. Sardines provide both EPA and DHA fatty acids which are useful in reducing inflammation. This improves hearth health, brain function, mood disorders like depression and anxiety, ADHD, various types of cancer, arthritis, etc.
Recipe for roasted sardines with orange and white wine (serves 4)
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- 1 red onion, peeled and sliced
- 1 orange, peeled, divided into segments and cut into thumb-sized pieces
- 4 medium potatoes, peeled, cut and pre-cooked
- 1 garlic clove, crushed
- 6 fresh sardines (gutted and heads removed)
- 1 teaspoon cumin seeds
- 1 teaspoon paprika
- Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
- 1 glass white wine
- Basil leaves to garnish
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Grease a large roasting dish with olive oil and add the onion, orange, potatoes and garlic. Coat everything with the olive oil. Place the sardines on top of the vegetables and sprinkle the seasoning over the top. Pour the glass of dry white wine over the top and roast for 15 minutes. Garnish with a few basil leaves and serve.
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Chicken, orange and fennel traybake and ringing bells
Chicken, orange and fennel traybake There are people who set off alarms bells — figuratively and metaphorically —and there are people who don’t. Obviously I fall into the ‘set off loudly’ category. A few years ago, I ended up having to ask our Mayor to intervene with a letter to the area Chief of Police because I was being stopped virtually every single time I left the house. It wasn’t all bad though: I once had a very enlightening conversation, pre-Brexit, with a sandwichless picnic type of police officer who took the time to explain, quite condescendingly I thought, that my GB driving licence was not valid in France because Britain was not in Europe and never had been. There’s not a lot you can say to that, except perhaps ‘you’re an idiot!’.
My perennial aura of culpability follows me everywhere, including security and customs, both of which I seem incapable of negotiating without a full body search and scan and lengthy interrogation. I was once detained for some time at the Eurostar terminal in Waterloo while they searched my luggage at length. Bizarrely, this included going through and watching a load of perfectly innocent films on videotape that I had brought with me from France. This was before mobile ‘phones and my mother, imagining that I’d missed my train, gave up and went home without me.
A few days ago, Gatwick airport gave me a chance to flex my wannabe hooligan muscles once again when my baggage and I were stopped no fewer than three times. Poor Léo, who had gone ahead without a single hitch, had to wait for me on The Other Side, and was forced to explain, rather long-sufferingly, that if he was still hanging around it was because he was waiting for his ‘anarchist mother’; they immediately took pity and even offered him a chair.
Recipe for chicken, orange and fennel traybake (serves 4)
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 4 chicken thighs
- 2 spring onions, peeled and sliced
- 2 bulbs fennel, roughly chopped
- 2 chilli peppers, sliced
- 4 cloves garlic, unpeeled
- 1 handful sage leaves
- 1 large orange, peeled and cut into segments
- sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 2 teaspoons fennel seeds
- 1 teaspoon curry powder (optional)
- 1 tablespoon honey
Pre-heat oven to 220C. Arrange all the ingredients in a baking tray, drizzling olive oil over everything and seasoning with salt and pepper, fennel seeds, curry powder and honey. Cook for 40 minutes, squeeze the garlic from its skins and serve. Delicious with rice, fresh pasta or new potatoes.
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Chinese-style pork patties and recalcitrant photographic models
Chinese-style port patties 
After the fiasco that was Bossy’s attempt to film her dogs’ ‘obedience’ (it still makes me chuckle just thinking about it), she has been trying to capture us next to flowers, which naturally fills me with an overwhelming and unfettered joy. Not.
I’m concerned that the very hot weather we’ve been having has fried her brain: I mean seriously, do I look like a dog that enjoys the company of pale pink girly flowers? At least it’s quite entertaining when she lies down on the grass on her tummy to get a better angle, especially when she struggles to get up. What’s the point in a good angle if the subject has got bored with the tediousness of sitting still and wandered off?
This photo is apparently a testament to my compliance, although it feels more like a punishment to me. At least nobody could mistake me for a dog happy to be caught next to a flower. She tried to photograph Java a number of times, but all she got was a dirty white blur. And Bossy considered the ‘flattened to the floor in a stranglehold’ look to be unflattering because it made her eyes boggle (Java’s, not Bossy’s). I really hope she loses the camera enthusiasm soon; in the meantime she’s the gift that just keeps on giving…
Recipe for Chinese-style port patties (serves 4)
- 100g tinned whole water chestnuts, drained and finely chopped
- 500g lean pork mince
- 5 spring onions, finely chopped
- 1 clove of garlic, crushed
- 1 teaspoon grated root ginger
- 1 red chilli, finely chopped
- 1 teaspoon Chinese spice
- 1 tablespoon soya sauce
- 1 tablespoon cane sugar
- salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 1 egg, beaten
- 3 tsp olive oil or peanut oil
Combine all the ingredients together well in a large bowl and form about 16 patties. Heat the oil in a large non-stick frying pan and fry for about four minutes on either side until cooked through and slightly caramelised. Delicious served hot or cold with fried rice, noodles or crispy Chinese cabbage salad.
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Carrot cumin croquettes and a dog obedience video
Carrot cumin croquettes Noisy has been teaching me to use acronyms because I’m having problems with my rather cumbersome paws on the small keyboard of my new ‘phone when I text and tweet. I found LMAO particularly appropriate when Bossy recently decided to make a ‘Dog Obedience’ video to put on YouTube. Who is she kidding?
I worry about Bossy sometimes – it’s as if she lives in la la land. She took us for a walk and wanted to capture various ‘examples of canine obedience’ (you see what I mean?). Usually I just slope off and do my own thing when we go for a walk so as not to be irritated by incessant jabbering (Bossy’s) and hyperactive insanity (Java’s), but I decided to hang around a bit for this because I thought it might be amusing. I wasn’t disappointed. She had planned on filming Java’s perfect recall (I say this not without irony) just as Java picked up the scent of an UFFO (unidentified feathered flying object), so that was a non starter.
When Java finally returned 20 minutes later, she resembled a panting, dribbling, filthy, sodden dishrag and, as such, was not at her most photogenic. This was a shame as her looks are her only asset. Undeterred, Bossy carried on filming while walking through the woods and Java went off to find a long, sturdy stick which she then rammed into the back of Bossy’s knees. The shock was enough to catapult Bossy through the air, camera in hand and still filming. I think she’s going to have to rethink the title of her video. I’m thinking ‘Delinquent Setters’ might be appropriate. LOL.
Recipe for carrot cumin croquettes (serves 4)
- 120g potatoes, peeled
- 60g carrots, peeled
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 1 clove garlic, crushed
- 2 teaspoons cumin seeds
- Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
- 1 egg, beaten
- chickpea flour (or plain flour) for coating
- Olive oil for frying
Boil the potatoes and carrots together until cooked. Drain well, add the olive oil, crushed garlic, cumin seeds and salt and pepper and mash well. Stir in the egg and then make round ‘patties’ coated in flour. Fry on each side until crisp and golden brown. Makes a delicious accompaniment to any main course, or may be served with a poached egg and green salad.
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Crab chickpea pancakes (gf) and giant flying toddlers
Crab chickpea pancakes (gf) ‘My son is a numpty’. That’s what I wrote on the ‘reason for absence’ ticket when Léo missed school on Monday morning to have both wrists strapped up. I prefer to avoid Emergency if at all possible now, and take broken bones to visit our GP; his eyebrows are less judgmental and upwardly mobile than the hospital receptionist’s, and he knows deep down that we’re not intrinsically stupid and that I’m not an irresponsible mother. We’re just all a bit challenged when it comes to remaining upright.
Léo has been recuperating from a very nasty bout of flu/chest infection and, when I dropped him off in town this weekend with friends, it was not without apprehension. I’m now wondering how he took my parting words, ‘be careful and don’t do anything silly’ to mean ‘make sure to propel yourself through the air stuntman-style using your bike as a springboard’. It’s really quite puzzling.
His father and I are hardly in a position to criticise though: We have more broken bones between us than we could count on the fingers of our four hands. Just yesterday, Luc, who was painting on the roof, asked me to open one of the upstairs windows in case he lost his balance so that he could ‘throw himself in’. On reflection, perhaps all three of us should take the precaution of being strapped up. In straitjackets.
These savoury pancakes make a great starter or a delicious light supper served with green salad. Crab is an excellent source of protein, omega 3, vitamins and minerals.
Recipe for crab chickpea pancakes (gf) (serves 4)
- 1 egg, beaten
- 150g chickpea flour
- 200ml water
- 2 shallots, chopped
- 1 small courgette, peeled and grated
- Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
- ½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
- ½ teaspoon cumin seeds
- 1 teaspoon chilli powder (optional)
- 200g white crabmeat
- Nigella seeds
- Olive oil for frying
Mix the egg and flour together, gradually adding water until the consistency is smooth and similar to heavy cream. Add the shallots, courgette and seasoning, mixing well. Finally stir in the crabmeat. Heat some olive oil in a frying pan over a medium heat and spoon in enough batter to make a pancake of roughly 5cm diameter. Sprinkle with nigella seeds and fry until golden brown, roughly 2-3 minutes on each side.