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Vegetable fritters (gf) and visually-challenged Setters
I think that Java needs glasses. Either that or a new brain, but I’m going to be charitable and go with the glasses theory. (As an aside, she also needs to learn which holes she can and can’t stick her nose into, because it’s looking a bit mangled at the moment. Still, we can’t all be hole experts.) Even allowing for the fact that she’s not the brightest, I’ve noticed her a few times recently rather proudly ‘marking’ plastic bags. I know plastic bags can flap in the wind a bit and do very fine bird imitations, but still: Really Java? You’re a dog with a supposedly superior sense of smell. I’m not sure how to broach the subject with her though; it’s a tricky one. Apparently English Setters are extremely sensitive to criticism, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for tipping her over the edge by pointing out her mistake, tempted though I might be. I think I’ll just leave it to Bossy and her finely-tuned diplomacy skills to explain her error. Watch this space for one horribly humiliated English Setter *wicked dog chuckle*.
Ingredients (serves 4)
2 eggs, beaten
75g chickpea flour (although any flour will work)
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
125ml water
1 potato, peeled and grated
2 courgettes, peeled and grated
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1 onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, crushed
4 leaves fresh mint, cut into strips
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 tablespoon of ghee for frying (you can use butter or oil)
Combine the beaten eggs, flour and bicarbonate of soda, gradually adding about 125ml of water to achieve a fairly thick pancake batter consistency. Add the grated vegetables, onion, garlic, fresh mint and seasoning and combine well, making sure that the vegetables are well incorporated. Heat the ghee in a large frying pan over a medium heat until melted and create several two tablespoon-sized fritters. Fry until golden brown (roughly 5 minutes), turn and repeat until all the fritters are cooked. -
Chicken with bacon and white wine and the latest dog horseplay
As I have absolutely no wish to linger on last weekend and Léo’s ‘totally cool skis that go backwards as well as forwards’ (this, according to the man in the rental shop, was a selling point), I’m going to talk about the dogs and their latest antics. Hugo and Java are a generation apart in dog years. While Hugo certainly isn’t averse to a bit of television (Scooby Doo being his favourite), he doesn’t really ‘do’ computers. Java does, and she apparently has strong opinions on graphics; yesterday she took unusual and hysterical exception to the screensaver that Léo had installed. I don’t blame her really – it was a sort of Grufallo monster menacingly yielding a leg of lamb. Anyway, she was ear-splittingly inconsolable until the offending image was replaced with something more serene. Meanwhile, Hugo was outside digging the World’s Biggest Hole. He was gone a couple of hours and, after frantic searching, I found him stranded 2m below ground level, covered in mud and sand trying to ‘liberate’ an unidentified, and no doubt petrified, small animal. He looked quite relieved to see me and my sturdy rope because I think he realised there was no way he was getting out on his own. In future Hugo: When you’re in a hole, stop digging!
This dish is quick and easy to make, but no less delicious for it. It is adapted from ‘Nigella Express’.
Ingredients (serves 4)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 leek, washed and cut both ways
1 onion, chopped
4 mushrooms, sliced
4 rashers bacon
4 chicken escalopes (approx. 125g each)
100ml white wine
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Put the olive oil in the frying pan and heat. Add the leek, onion, mushrooms and bacon and fry until the bacon is crisp. Remove the bacon and set aside. Fry the chicken until cooked through (a couple of minutes on each side). Put the bacon back into the pan, add the wine and cook until the wine bubbles. Season to taste and serve with rice and a salad or green beans. -
Halwa and ice skating for dogs
Until today, I neither shared nor understood Java’s enthusiasm for the cold white stuff that suddenly appeared the other morning. Mind you, she’s so foolish that I don’t understand much about her at all. I refused to go out all day on Monday in the hope that it would disappear. It didn’t, and there was even more of it this morning so, after much coaxing, I agreed to accompany Bossy and Java on a walk. I soon found out that if I ran very fast and then suddenly stopped, Java (who copies everything I do) was taken by surprise, skidded, lost her balance and fell over (what’s not to like?). How anyone with four legs can actually fall over is beyond me – it just goes to show how silly she is. Bossy lost her balance a few times too *canine snigger*, but in her case it’s more understandable as she only has two legs and I suppose she’s busy trying to control her mouth, always going at full throttle. These little bonuses mean that I’ve decided that the white stuff is not so bad after all. I may even look into skiing lessons…
Halwa is a deliciously fragrant Indian dessert cake. It contains ghee, or clarified butter. Having had all dairy residue simmered off, ghee is suitable for people with dairy allergies. It is a rich source of omegas 3 and 9 as well as butyric acid which has been shown to decrease inflammation, particularly in the intestines. It is also an excellent source of vitamins A, D, E and K.
Ingredients (serves 12)
350g carrots, grated
50g raisins
50g almonds, chopped
50g pistachios, chopped
5 tablespoons ghee, melted (you could replace this with butter or coconut oil)
2 tablespoons honey
3 eggs, whisked
200g almond flour
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon cardamom seeds, crushed
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Combine the carrots, raisins, almonds, pistachios, ghee and honey in a mixing bowl. Gradually add the almond flour, bicarbonate of soda and cardamom seeds to the whisked eggs and blend until homogenous. Add the flour/egg mixture to the carrot/nut mixture and combine well. Transfer to a prepared medium-sized baking tin and bake for 40 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.
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Savoury chickpea muffins and cold, white stuff
Everything was all white this morning (my punishment for making silly puns is that I now have the Bill Withers song ‘Lovely Day’ stuck on repeat in my head: ‘Then I look at you, And the world’s all white with me, Just one look at you, And I know it’s gonna be a lovely day…’).
Snow in this area is rare, which means that when it does happen, everything grinds to a halt; Hugo being a case in point. He dipped one paw into the cold, white stuff, looked around quizzically, sighed heavily and turned back into the house. Java and Léo, on the other hand, were absolutely delighted. Snow is a precious commodity. So much so that I now have a freezer full of ready-to-throw snowballs, which is, I assume, the ammunition equivalent of microwave meals. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he didn’t try to take them to school in a cooler box.
Like Hugo, the migratory cranes in the cornfield to the back of the house looked very cheesed-off. I think they were probably lamenting their choice of winter destination: ‘That’s the last time we’re coming here – what a rip-off! We flew 5,000 kilometres for a bit of sun and this is what we end up with. We could have stayed at home if we’d wanted snow!’. Maybe Hugo will migrate south next winter in case the nasty, white stuff strikes again.
Chickpeas (or garbanzos) have a very low-GI and are a rich source of fibre, making them ideal for digestive disorders and weight loss. They are also rich in protein (in the form of amino acids), minerals (especially manganese, selenium and iron), vitamin K, folates and antioxidants (saponins).
Ingredients (makes 12)
200g spelt flour
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon chilli powder
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
400g chickpeas, pre-cooked and mashed
2 eggs, beaten
100ml olive oil
75g cheddar cheese, grated (any hard cheese will do)
1 onion, chopped
½ red pepper, chopped
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Combine the flour, seasoning, spices and bicarbonate of soda in a large bowl. In a second bowl, combine the chickpeas, eggs and oil, mixing well. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, folding together well. Lastly incorporate the grated cheese, onion and red pepper. Transfer the mixture to muffin tins or moulds (I use silicon moulds) and bake for 20-25 minutes or until a fork comes out clean. Delicious served hot or cold. -
Best wishes for the new year, duxelles quiche and soggy ears
A very Happy 2015 to everybody!
Our New Year has started true to form: one dog is wearing a filthy tennis sock, fetchingly held in place by a rubber band and the other dog has soggy, disheveled ears full of impossibly matted knots. Hugo had a bit of a paw mishap, which explains his incongruous footwear. Presumably to take his mind off the pain, he has taken to chewing Java’s ears, which explains her unladylike appearance. He chews them in a ‘try and stop me if you dare’ kind of way that brings to mind old westerns where the cowboys chewed ‘baccy’ and then spit it out on the ground. I’m half expecting him to thump down a shot glass and growl for another whisky to wash down his ribs and beans. I never imagined for a second that I might one day need advice on how to untangle an English Setter’s soggy ears and yet, here I am asking. If anyone can impart some wisdom it would be most welcome because I’ve tried combing, brushing, coaxing and blackmail to no avail. She’s very fidgety and slippery and it’s a bit like trying to coif a hyperactive eel which, all things considered, I could probably do without…
These mushroom quiches are really tasty and quite rich. The crushed oats make the pastry particularly crisp, nicely complimenting the filling.
Ingredients (serves 6 – 8)
Pastry:
100g spelt flour
50g buckwheat flour
50g crushed oats
1 tablespoon olive oil
50g butter
20g virgin coconut oil
Roughly 6 tablespoons of cold water
Filling:
4 large mushrooms, finely chopped
2 shallots, finely chopped
2 rashers of bacon, finely chopped
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 egg
150 ml double cream
To make the pastry, begin by cutting the butter and coconut oil into small cubes. Add to the flours and oats in a mixing bowl and add a pinch of sea salt. Blend by hand until the mixture becomes crumbly. Add the cold water, mixing rapidly with a spoon. Remove the mixture from the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until you obtain a ball of pastry (if the mixture isn’t ‘sticky’ enough to form a ball, you may need a drop more water). Wrap in a clean cotton tea towel and leave to ‘rest’ in the fridge for about two hours. This relaxes the dough and makes it easier to use.
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Roll out the pastry on a clean, lightly floured surface and fill the tart tin or tins. As this pastry contains buckwheat flour and oats it will be quite fragile. You’ll find that you have to treat it delicately and possibly fill in the cracks with remaining bits of pastry by pressing gently. I use individual tart tins. Precook the pastry for 12 minutes.
To make the filling, combine the finely chopped mushrooms, shallots and bacon and line the quiche cases with the mixture. Break the egg into a small bowl and add the cream and seasoning (salt, pepper, paprika). Beat well to form a homogenous mixture. Pour the egg/cream mixture over the top and cook for 18 minutes. -
Dorset apple cake and disruptive females
I had hoped to find the time to sit down at my computer and write this post before now, but, once again, I’ve been absolutely rushed off my paws. I can’t let Java out of my sight for a minute without her getting up to something unthinkable (three pairs of riding boots and a school bag became history in the space of a week) and Bossy is being almost as troublesome. I suspect they might be in competition; could it be a girl thing? I think Bossy must be a bit vain because she thinks that she is capable of operating electronic equipment sans glasses (did you notice my subtle but appropriate use of a French word there? I am a sophisticated bilingual dog). Anyway, she appears convinced that repeatedly jabbing at every single button on the dishwasher/washing machine/television will help them work. Not so – we’ve been visited by three different men in white vans full of tools during the past few days. Luckily the Tall One seems to find it amusing, although I’m not sure why.
I commissioned my new byline picture from my favourite artist as it looks as though Java is going to become a fixture. I’m very pleased with it because it perfectly portrays my gravitas and her inconsequence. I hope you like it too.
Thank you Hugo for your contribution, although I’m not sure it’s altogether flattering. This simple cake is a cross between a cake and a scone. It’s not too sweet and delicious served warm or cold with some Greek yoghurt or ice cream.
Ingredients (serves 8)
250g spelt flour
Pinch of salt
50g salted butter
50g organic coconut oil
2 cooking apples, cored, peeled and diced
50g sultanas
75g cane sugar
1 egg, beaten
2 tablespoons of milk
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Place the flour in a bowl with the butter and coconut oil. Rub in the fats until the mixture resembles fine crumbs. Stir in the apples, sultanas and sugar, then add the egg and milk and mix to a firm dough. Transfer the mixture to greased, medium-sized loaf tin, levelling the surface with your fingertips. Bake for about 40 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean. -
New potato oven raclette and a dog at the end of his tether
My patience has reached its limits, especially when it comes to pests with wings. I thought we’d seen the back of the tweeting squatter after I had explained (with my teeth showing) that she had delighted us long enough with her presence. I think that my natural assertiveness must be very intimidating because she flew off that very evening. I thought that was that; alas I was mistaken. She comes back at least once or twice every single day for a bellyful of couscous and special dove grains and a snooze. How can she possibly be so hungry and so tired? It’s not as if she has a proper job like me. What annoys me most is how pleased they always are to see her. She fascinates them so much (why?) that they sometimes forget to give me my camembert after lunch, which makes me feel unloved. And as if all this isn’t irritating and hurtful enough, a large bird with a long neck has also turned up. It’s called a heron apparently and thank goodness it doesn’t come into the house because it’s very big indeed. All in all, I’ve had it up to the back of my impressive canines with anything that flaps or chirps. This raclette dish isn’t my favourite, although they seemed to love it for some reason. The upside, however, is that it contains cheese, which is not at all good for birds, so that can only be a good thing.
Ingredients (serves 4)
225g new potatoes, cooked
1 tablespoon olive oil
100g raclette cheese, grated (although any hard cheese will work)
1 medium-sized onion, finely sliced
4 slices Bayonne ham, roughly cut into strips (or Parma ham)
Sea salt, freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
4 or 5 leaves of fresh basil to garnish
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Prepare a medium-sized oven-proof dish by greasing with olive oil. Slice the potatoes into pieces roughly 3mm thick and create a layer on the bottom of the dish, sprinkle with cheese, add a few strips of ham and onion and continue layering until everything is used up. Make sure to save a bit of cheese to sprinkle on top along with the seasoning. Cook for 40 minutes, garnish with the basil leaves and serve with crisp green salad. And don’t listen to Hugo – it’s divine!
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Lamb, fresh fig and almond tagine and fledgling couscous enthusiasts
We have a young turtle dove in temporary residence at the moment. At least I think it’s temporary. Léo found her nestling in a hole at the bottom of an oak tree and brought her into the house, claiming that she’d fallen from the nest and didn’t know how to fly. He then went on to explain that the hens are ‘blood-thirsty and vicious she-devils’ and Hugo is an ‘irresponsible nutter’ and that she couldn’t possibly be left to fend for herself. In the face of this irrefutable logic, how could I refuse? At first Léo had to feed her himself, but after about a week she learned to peck and developed an absolute passion for couscous seasoned with Ras el Hanout. A neighbour told us that there are lots of Moroccan turtle doves that have settled in the area, which would explain her exotic tastes. This recipe is the result of my searches for ‘things to serve with couscous’ because, gorgeous as she is, I draw the line at cooking separate dishes for a month-old bird. Léo is coaching her in her valiant efforts to fly, and she now executes perfect sorties from her box to the water jug and back (photo below). And she’s apparently a lot more fun than toy helicopters because you ‘don’t have to recharge her batteries’. The jury’s still out though as to which is harder work; you don’t have to clear up helicopter mess innumerable times a day… I’m not altogether convinced that her plan is to put her flying skills to the ultimate test and up and leave, as I suspect she’ll have a bit of a hard time finding Ras el Hanout-flavoured couscous in the forest around here.
Ingredients (serves 4)
85g almonds
1kg lamb, cut into 3cm cubes
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 medium onions, finely sliced
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
3 carrots, peeled and cut into thumb-size pieces
sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger
1 cinnamon stick
1 tablespoon cumin seeds
2 teaspoons ground paprika
I teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon saffron threads
2 tablespoons honey
6 fresh figs, cut in half
Fresh coriander, chopped, to serve
Toast the almonds for about 15 minutes in a small frying pan. Chop and set aside. In a medium-sized tagine or covered casserole dish (dutch oven), combine the lamb, olive oil, onions, garlic, carrots and spices, tossing well to combine. Add two cups of water, cover and gently simmer for an hour. Add the honey and figs and simmer for a further 30 minutes, checking from time-to-time that there is still some liquid (add more water if necessary). The tagine is ready once the lamb is tender and most of the liquid has evaporated. Sprinkle with almonds and coriander and serve with couscous or rice (couscous is you have an epicurean turtle dove at the table). -
Summer fruitcake and a ladies’ dog
When Bossy wrote about my last visit to the vet, it wasn’t very complimentary, so, in the interests of accuracy, I’m doing this one. I behaved beautifully in the car, even though I have never understood why they insist on putting me in the boot. I didn’t even bark or throw myself against the car windows when I saw other animals. When we arrived, I amused myself by playing on the scales. If you stand on them with two legs instead of four you lose weight and if you get on and off enough times you send the electronics doolally and they stop working altogether *very naughty chortle*. Then a bitch arrived and things went downhill. I think it was love at first sight for her because, after just one look at me, she started straining on her lead so much that her owner became quite red in the face and started saying words that I’d never heard before. Although she wasn’t really my sort, I reciprocated by howling like a wolf – a very very loud wolf – to be polite. She obviously saw this as a come-on because she became quite hysterical – so much so that she scared me a bit and I had to hide behind Bossy and Noisy’s chairs. The vet lady came out of her office and told us both off, although it was quite obviously the bitch’s fault and not mine. She was sent off to wait in her car in the end. I think I might have to stop going to see the vet because it’s very tricky and really rather tiring being so irresistible to lady dogs, especially in public places.
Ingredients (serves 8)
400g soft fruit, stoned and cut into cubes (I used apricots, plums and blackberries)
2 tablespoons of honey
100g ground almonds
80g spelt flour
50g buckwheat flour
6 cardamon pods, crushed keeping the seeds
1 teaspoon garam masala
1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
80g soft brown sugar
3 eggs
100ml olive oil
150ml plain yoghurt
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Add the fruit and honey to a saucepan and gently heat until softened. Mix the ground almonds, flours, spices, bicarbonate of soda and spices in a bowl and set aside. Whisk the sugar and eggs together until well combined and then add the olive oil and yoghurt. Add the flour mixture to the wet mixture and then stir in the fruit. Pour the mixture into a buttered medium-sized cake tin and bake for 40 minutes or until a fork comes out clean. -
Apple, cinnamon and honey clafouti and mud therapy for dogs
Our bipolar weather this summer – grey chilliness one day, stifling heat and tropical rainfall the next – has cajoled Hugo’s inner breakdancer into putting in an appearance. He has taken to throwing himself into tepid puddles (the deeper and muddier the better) with an incongruous and not altogether elegant stomach-first, legs-last sort of manoeuvre, presumably looking for relief from the heat and mosquitos. At least I hope that’s what he’s looking for, because if not he’s even odder than I thought. He then stands up and starts all over again, a beatific smile plastered firmly on his face. The sequence is repeated until the puddle is entirely rid of its water. Mud creates a very effective barrier against both flies and the heat, so Hugo’s logic is irreproachable, but then we knew that already. The downside is, however, that I have a very dirty house…
Originally from the Limousin region, clafouti, or clafoutis in French, is now a popular dessert throughout France. The name comes from the word ‘clafotis’, which means to ‘fill up’ in Occitan. Traditionally it is made with cherries, but it works well with any fruit or berry.
There are many benefits to adding cinnamon to a dish: it controls blood-sugar levels, helping those with insulin resistance and and pre-diabetic conditions and also aiding weight loss. Added to this, it has significant antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties, making it an excellent choice for sufferers of arthritis and IBS.
Ingredients (serves 6) :
6 apples, peeled and chopped into small cubes
40g salted butter
2 teaspoons cinnamon
3 tablespoons honey
100g spelt flour
4 eggs, beaten
50g cane sugar
300ml full fat milk
100ml cream
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Melt the butter in a deep frying pan and fry the apples for about five minutes on a low heat. Add the cinnamon and the honey and heat for another couple of minutes, stirring gently. Butter a gratin dish and add the apple mixture. Put the flour, eggs and sugar in a bowl and mix, adding the milk and cream to the mixture a little at a time, beating well. Pour the mixture over the apples in the dish and bake for 35 to 40 minutes until golden brown.
