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Aubergine lasagne (gf) and potentially badly-behaved tennis mothers
Léo, my son, played in a tennis tournament yesterday. For me, this resulted in an acute attack of what I can only describe as Internal Tourettes. In my head, I morphed into a sort of raging maniac. Believe me, it wasn’t pretty; move over Tiger Mother – you’ve got competition! My shameless unsportsmanlike mind cheered at double faults, hissed and snarled at anyone deigning to applaud theenemyopponent and yelled things that I’m certainly not going to commit to type. And yet, there I sat with a beatific smile that said ‘it’s the taking part, not the winning that counts’. Yeah right
. This was definitely one of those occasions that called for unbridled hypocrisy, something I’ve apparently mastered to a T.
This lasagne is suitable comfort for scrupulously gallant players who might or might not have been defeated by up-themselves whippersnappers 😉
Ingredients (serves six)
2 medium-sized aubergines
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 large onion, peeled and chopped
2 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
500g minced beef
400g tinned tomatoes
4 tablespoons tomato purée
1 teaspoon tabasco
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
50ml red wine
1 bay leaf
1 sprig of rosemary
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
200g Mozarella, finely sliced
100g Parmesan, shaved
Peel the aubergines and then cut into roughly 3mm slices. Leave them to ‘sweat’ out their moisture for about an hour by sprinkling with sea salt. Meanwhile, you can begin to cook the meat. Gently fry the onion, garlic and carrot in olive oil in a large frying pan for about five minutes. Add the minced beef and continue to brown for about 5 minutes. Add the tinned and puréed tomatoes, herbs and seasoning and stir well, making sure to break up the mince. Add the wine and gently simmer until the liquid has reduced and the sauce is concentrated and fairly homogenous (roughly 45 minutes).
Rinse the salt from the aubergines, which should by now have shed most of their excess water and pat them dry. Take a good-sized roasting dish and layer the meat, aubergines and cheese (in that order) several times, finishing with a generous layer of Parmesan cheese. Bake in an oven pre-heated to 180°C for about an hour, or until the cheese is bubbling and turning golden brown. -
Spelt bread
I envy mothers who disingenuously exclaim ‘I have such problems with my childrens’ eating habits: they just can’t get enough caviar/oysters/organic broccoli…’. Obviously when I say envy, I mean it in a thoroughly irascible, need-to-suppress-violent-urges sort of way. My son is passionate about bread (he’s partial to ketchup too actually, but I don’t think we really need to go there ;-)). He’s been besotted with bread since his first teeth appeared and his enthusiasiam shows no signs of abating. This spelt bread meets with his approval and believe me, he’s something of an expert in the matter.
Spelt is a tasty and healthy alternative to wheat and has a delicate nutty flavour. It’s actually an ancient grain that has come back into favour as more and more people have problems digesting wheat. Spelt has a tough outer husk, meaning that it can protect itself from attack and making it a very suitable candidate for pesticide-free production. Not only does it have more vitamins and minerals than wheat flour, it also has a higher protein content. Although spelt contains gluten, it is in a more fragile form and therefore easier to digest than wheat gluten, which is why people with a wheat intolerance are often able to eat spelt flour.
Ingredients (makes one small loaf)
250g spelt flour
5g active dry yeast
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon olive oil
150ml lukewarm water
Begin by diluting the yeast in a few drops of water. Add to the flour and salt and then add the lukewarm water. Add the olive oil and mix well with a wooden spoon and then either knead by hand or mechanically for about ten minutes, until the mixture becomes like plastic. Leave to rise in a warm (25-35°C), draft-free place, covered with a damp tea towel for 45 minutes. The dough should double in volume. Knead again and shape into the desired form. Place on greaseproof paper, cover with the damp tea towel and leave to rise again for about 1h 15 minutes. Transfer to a lightly oiled baking tray and bake in a hot (225°C) preheated oven for 30 minutes. -
Healthy cheese scones (low-GI)
This week it snowed everywhere in France except here; we got the torrential rain option instead. Yesterday, I donned my guise as a North Sea fisherman (waders are definitely the way forward) to take Hugo for a walk. I squelched my way through sodden fields for 20 minutes before cottoning on to the fact that he wasn’t actually with me. My dog may have ‘issues’, but he’s certainly not stupid. I came home to find him bone-dry and curled up in front of the fire. One nil Hugo.
I used Comté cheese, which I call French Cheddar, to make these scones. I suspect the French might be rather mortified if they heard this moniker, but that’s OK because, as of this week, I am French. This gives me the right, amongst other things, to Cheese Irreverence, so there.
The photo is of the second batch of scones, as my rain-fearing labrador ‘sampled’ the first batch. All of it.
Ingredients (makes 12-15)
150mg spelt flour
100mg buckwheat flour
1 tablespoon chia seeds (optional)
3 tsp baking powder
large pinch sea salt
1/2 tsp paprika
100mg strong cheddar cheese (or Comté, or similar), grated
1 tablespoon olive oil
125 ml milk
1 egg
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Sift the flour, baking powder, chia seeds, salt and paprika into a large bowl. Add the cheese and mix well.
Beat the egg and milk together in a separate bowl and add the olive oil. Pour the milk/egg/oil mixture into the flour mixture and using a metal spoon / fork, mix the dough until it clumps together, but is not too dry. If it seems too dry, add a tiny drop more milk.
Press the dough out on a clean floured surface until it is about 5mm thick, then fold it over ontop of itself (this gives the finished scones the natural “break” to cut open), flatten it again, using the palm of your hand. Do not use a rolling pin as it is too heavy and will prevent the scones from rising.
Use a round cutter to cut out the scones. Place on a baking tray and cook for about 15 minutes or until golden. Serve hot or cold. -
Leek and Bayonne ham quiche (gluten free)
If the 1980s bestseller ‘Real Men don’t Eat Quiche’ is anything to go by, you might want to refer to this as egg, leek and ham pie if you feel that might go down better with the men at your table. Of course, strictly speaking, I suppose it’s a tart and not a pie, but I’d put money on the fact that a man who won’t eat quiche won’t be buying into ‘tart’ either. Anyway, enough wittering, I believe in calling a quiche a quiche and if the neanderthals eating at my table don’t like it they can go and shoot their own dinner 😉 My alpha-male husband is actually the exception that confirms the rule – he worships at the altar of The Quiche.
The pastry is made with buckwheat flour, which not only makes it gluten-free, but healthier and tastier than regular pastry; it even stays crisp when served cold. And even if you don’t fancy quiche, it makes a superb base for apple, or any other fruit tart too.
Ingredients for pastry (serves 6-8):
220g buckwheat flour
80g butter
20g virgin coconut oil
Roughly 5 tablespoons of cold water
Ingredients for filling:
3 leeks, washed and chopped
2 shallots, sliced
1 tablespoon of olive oil
75ml chicken or vegetable stock
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 egg
150 ml double cream
2 thin slices of Bayonne ham (or Parma ham), cut into strips
50 mg Cheddar, Parmesan or Comté cheese, grated
To make the pastry, begin by cutting the butter and coconut oil into small cubes. Add to the flour in a mixing bowl and add a pinch of sea salt. Blend by hand until the mixture becomes crumbly. Add the cold water, mixing rapidly with a spoon. Remove the mixture from the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until you obtain a ball of pastry (if the mixture isn’t ‘sticky’ enough to form a ball, you may need a drop more water). Wrap in a clean cotton tea towel and leave to ‘rest’ in the fridge for about two hours. This relaxes the dough and makes it easier to use.
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Roll out the pastry on a clean, lightly floured surface and fill the tart tin or tins. Buckwheat pastry contains no gluten, which makes it very fragile. You’ll find that you have to treat it delicately and possibly fill in the cracks with remaining bits of pastry by pressing gently. I tend to use individual tart tins. Precook the pastry for 12 minutes.
For the filling, begin by frying the leeks and shallots in olive oil in a small frying pan. Add the stock and braise for about 20 minutes, or until the leeks are well-cooked and the stock is absorbed. Break the egg into a small bowl and add the cream and seasoning (salt, pepper, paprika). Beat well to form a homogenous mixture. Place a few small strips of ham on the pastry base, spoon the leek mixture over that, add some grated cheese and then pour the egg and cream mixture over the top. Cook at 180°C for 20 minutes, or until the top is golden-brown in colour.
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Crab noodle soup and dispiriting temporary assignments
I have been working as Builder’s Assistant, though not a very successfully it would seem. Léo, my well-adjusted ten-year-old son (I feel the need to account for his emotional health in view of the calamity that is my dog’s), has been busy building a three-story log cabin, as you do, and needed help with the basement. My job was to lean on the planks of wood while he randomly banged nails into them. As if this doesn’t sound like torture enough, I was yelled at for not ‘leaning heavily enough’ and also for coughing, causing the nails to bend. There was subsequent, rather barbed commentary on the fact that my work wasn’t up to par, and also detail as to why it was my fault that the floorboards of the cabin are now crooked. After much deliberation, I think I’m going to stick to cooking.
Ingredients (serves at least 4)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon sesame seed oil
1 onion, chopped
1 leek, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped
2 carrots, chopped
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1.25 litres organic chicken or vegetable stock
4 tablespoons frozen peas
4 tablespoons pre-cooked sweetcorn
2 tablespoons soya sauce
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
3 kaffir lime leaves
sea salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
1 teaspoon chilli flakes
75g thin Asian rice noodles
1 tin (175g) of crabmeat
Fresh coriander to garnish
Gently heat the oils in a large saucepan. Add the chopped onion, garlic, leek, celery, carrot and red pepper and cook for 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Add the stock, soya sauce, peas, sweetcorn, seasoning and herbs and simmer for 20 minutes. Add the noodles and crabmeat and cook for a further five minutes. Serve with fresh coriander chopped and sprinked over the top. -
Curried parsnip and apple soup and badly behaved females
It pains me to admit that the males of our menagerie are far better behaved than their female counterparts. Obviously I’m not including myself in this. The hens spend a bigger part of the day than is ladylike pecking the crap out of each other. Usually over a live worm or dead mouse (I apologise for the revolting visuals) or some such. The prized place on the perch nearest the horses is also pretext for belligerant fisticuffs. The mares are no better; despite being separated by an electric fence, they are incapable of any form of communication that doesn’t involve bitch-slapping. Their hind legs lash out at alarming angles and this is usually accompanied by a side-order of blood-curdling squeals, noises that the male horses couldn’t make if they tried. The last time they were on the same side of the electric fence, I had to administer twice-daily TLC, arnica and clay poultices to both for two weeks. I’m definitely putting an embargo on any further females, well, apart from my future labrador bitch and perhaps a few ducks 😉
Ingredients (serves 8) :
1 tablespoon olive oil
20g butter
1 onion, chopped
1 leek, chopped
2 apples (preferably not too sweet), peeled and sliced
4 medium-sized parsnips, peeled and sliced
1 medium-sized potato, peeled and sliced
2 carrots, peeled and sliced
1 bay leaf
1 sprig of rosemary
freshly ground black pepper
sea salt
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 teaspoon tumeric
1 litre chicken or vegetable stock
Gently brown the onions and leek in the butter and olive oil in a large casserole or saucepan. Add the apples and potato and continue to brown until golden. Add the remaining vegetables , then the seasoning and stock. Simmer for about 45 minutes and then purée. You could stir in some single cream before serving, although I don’t really think it’s necessary. -
Spicy roast cauliflower and the Christmas tree standoff
It’s exhausting being me; in the aftermath of Bonegate, I have to mediate another potentially explosive situation. Every year the delicate decision of when to put our Christmas tree up presents itself. On the one hand I have Léo, a ten-year-old boy, extremely talented in the practice of strategically ‘fighting his corner’, and on the other I have Hugo, a four-year-old dog, exceedingly accomplished in the induction of overwhelming guilt. The space the tree occupies is usually dedicated to Hugo’s ‘throne’ and apparently a tastefully decorated tree is not compensation enough for the upheaval and attendant inconvenience of temporary relocation.
So every night until the tree goes up, I have to listen to the interminable list of my son’s friends that already have their tree in place. And once the tree is finally up, I have to deal with a distressed labrador, his head bowed in seriously under- medicated silent reproach, sitting in a chair in an undesirable location.
Neither Léo nor Hugo are big fans of this cauliflower dish. More fool them – it’s delicious!
Ingredients (serves four to six):
1 cauliflower
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons chickpea flour
2 teaspoons chia seeds
1 teaspoon chilli flakes
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 180C. Cut the cauliflower into ‘florets’ and blanche in salted boiling water for five minutes and then drain. Mix the seasoning with the chickpea flour. Toss the drained cauliflower florets in olive oil and then the chickpea flour mixture. Add to a roasting tin with the remaining olive oil. Roast in the oven for about 25 minutes or until golden.
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Coral lentil potato cakes and a strangely obsequious dog
I never thought I would see the day that one of our animals proved too yielding; I’m used to them giving me a withering ‘WTF is your problem?’ look if ever dare to raise my voice. Even making allowance for his delicate psychological history, Hugo (over-cosseted, ergo neurotic labrador) surprised me yesterday. We had given him a bone which he immediately hid before checking for potential bone-stealing predators. Once satisfied the coast was clear, he returned to retrieve his ‘treasure’ to discover that the black hen had ‘borrowed’ it. Instead of, at very least, snarling dangerously in an attempt to intimidate her into giving it back, he just cocked his head to one side philosophically and sat down to watch her. Whilst I do admit that the sight of a hen chewing on a bone five times the size of her head is a sight to behold, I found myself almost urging him to ‘swing for her’. Of course, he was only doing to a ‘T’ exactly what we had spent weeks teaching him, which is : ‘even if they’re incredibly annoying, we don’t beat up, eat or even intimidate our fellow inmates.’ In the end, his pathetic expression won me over and I took the hen out on his behalf. He and the bone disappeared for the rest of the day.
These delicious patties contain protein in the form of lentils, but obviously no bones. My nerves are in shreds where bones are concerned for the time-being.
Ingredients (makes about eight patties):
120g coral lentils
3 medium-size potatoes
1 onion, sliced
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon coconut oil
1 teaspoon cumin seed
1 teaspoon paprika
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
3 tablespoons chickpea flour
Boil and mash the potatoes and cook the lentils according to instructions. Drain the lentils well and mix into the potato mash. Fry the onion, garlic, red pepper and cumin seeds in a small amount of olive oil until soft (about ten minutes). Incorporate into potato and lentil mixture and season with salt, pepper and paprika. Form smallish round patties about 4 cm in diameter, coat them in the chickpea flour and set aside. Coat a largish frying pan with olive oil and a small amount of coconut oil and fry the patties on each side until golden brown, adding more oil if they appear too dry.
Reasons to love lentils:
Not only are they delicious and very versatile, lentils are also an excellent source of fibre and protein. They also contain iron, folate and potassium in high quantites. Lentils are gluten-free and last but not least, have a very low glycemic index…
Beware of the ferocious dog!
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Toulouse sausages with Puy lentils and exiled hens
Our hens are in exile; they have been forced from their homeland by an overabundance of horses. Four was fine, desirable even; it created a cosy ‘chicken sandwich’ environment. But the newly-arrived pony was the final straw – she’s a Quadruped Lout Too Far and a tiny bit scornful perhaps at the deference required to lay an egg.
So they’ve set up camp on the fourth-floor shelf of the workshop on some torn-up sheets. Not without much shrill, dyspeptic screeching, I might add. I feel a bit bad that all they found for their nest was old sheets and not pashminas, but such is the life of a hen. I only discovered their new hideout because, reaching for an old sheet to clean my saddle, I unwittingly scrambled an egg at my feet. I assume they think that the workshop is horseproof – I’m afraid they’re in for a surprise 😉
Puy Green Lentils (grown on the vocanic soil of the ‘Massif Central’) are prized above other lentils for their strong peppery flavor and firmness, even after cooking. High in fiber and protein, they also contain dietary fibre, folate, vitamin B1, and minerals. As if all that isn’t enough, they also have a very low GI (glycemic index).
Ingredients (serves four)
4 Toulouse sausages
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small red onion, peeled and chopped
3 cloves of garlic, peeled and finely chopped
5 mushrooms, peeled and sliced
3 medium sized carrots, peeled and cut into 3cm pieces
1 tin (400g) of plum tomatoes
200g of Puy lentils
2 sprigs of rosemary
1 bay leaf
250ml chicken stock
seasoning to taste: sea salt, fresh black pepper, paprika
Preheat the oven to 150°C. If you have a griddle pan, griddle the sausages briefly. If not, searing them will do just as well. Gently fry the onions, garlic and mushrooms in olive oil to soften them. Add the griddled/seared sausage, the plum tomatoes and carrots and continue to heat. Add the lentils, chicken stock, herbs and seasoning and bring back to a gentle simmer. Cook in the oven for about 45 minutes, checking from time to time that there is enough liquid – the lentils absorb an enormous amount.
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Chicken curry with mango, carrots and sweet potato
We had a ten-month old labrador bitch to stay for the weekend; a real doll. My husband, who can never resist a doll, invited her based on the assumption that such chaos would ensue, I would give him a break from my constant whining for another dog (yellow labrador girl puppy, not that I’ve given it any thought or anything :-). Anyway, ha ha! Big miss on his part. There is nothing like the satisfaction of having a sleeping labrador on either side of your feet in the evening. I do admit that the frenzied partying beforehand was slightly more wearing but, all things considered, all this weekend did was make me even more entrenched in my opinion that owning fewer than two dogs should be illegal 😉
This was concocted whilst dodging eight furry and frenetic legs in the kitchen. Never let it be said that I’m not a skilled multi-tasker. It is full of beta-carotene, making it an excellent dish for the winter. Beta-carotene enhances the immune system by increasing the number of infection fighting cells. It also helps protect the respiratory tract. Foods rich in beta-carotene include sweet potatoes, carrots, mango, apricots, kale, spinach, turnip greens, winter squash, collard greens, cilantro and fresh thyme.
Ingredients (serves four)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon coconut oil
4 chicken thighs
1 onion, thinly sliced
3 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
6 mushrooms, peeled and sliced
1 mango, peeled and sliced
4 carrots, peeled and cut
2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks
2 green chillies, chopped
1 tablespoon of peeled, grated fresh ginger
1 cinnamon stick
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
3 teaspoons cumin seeds
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
200ml chicken stock
Preheat the oven to 150°C. Take a medium-size casserole dish and fry the onion, garlic, mushrooms and chicken in the olive and coconut oils for a few minutes, until they start to brown. Add the seasoning (cumin seeds, salt, pepper, ginger, turmeric, cinamon stick…) and continue to brown stirring frequently to avoid sticking. Add the carrots, sweet potato, mango and chillies and then the chicken stock. Bring to a gentle simmer, stir and put the casserole in the oven for about two hours, checking from time-to-time that there is enough liquid. The result should be tender and just beginning to caramelise.
