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Barbecue sauce and fried neurones
My nerves have taken a hit this week. Léo, in a bid to make up for lost time after finally having his plaster cast removed, thought that running with bulls, swinging from trees on ropes and bumper cars would all be excellent rehabilitation techniques. His schemes, each more horrifying than the last, had me rushing to enquire about the possibility of having hand brakes and airbags installed on the horses.
Java befriended a hedgehog and has a permanently bloody nose as a result. Without wishing to cast aspersions, I think she’s yet to make the link between her bleeding nose and new-found love. Even the eminently wise Hugo has become self-appointed Inspector of Wasp Nests and has a nasty sting above his eye to show for it. It seems that the long-lasting extreme heat has got to us all – hopefully our neurones will fall back into place in the next few days, although I’m not holding my breath…
I made this barbecue chicken dish for Léo’s birthday – he’s a big fan. It is made with fresh tomato sauce which makes it relatively healthy, and it’s deliciously tangy. I cooked it in the oven, but I’m sure it would be excellent barbecued too.
Ingredients (serves 4-6)
150ml fresh tomato sauce
100ml apple cider vinegar
Dash of worcester sauce
50g cane sugar
3 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 200°C. Combine the ingredients in a small saucepan and simmer for about five minutes, or until the sauce begins to thicken. Coat the chicken and cook for about 25 minutes or until the coating begins to caramelise. -
Quinoa salad and it’s raining shoes, hallelujah!
Humidity is rising – barometre‘s getting low
According to all sources, the street’s the place to go
‘Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past two
For the first time in history
It’s gonna start raining shoes.
Like most 12-year-olds, Léo is partial to sleeping in the morning, especially during the holidays. Unfortunately for him, the morning is the time when the hens are at their busiest and noisiest and they seem to enjoy being particularly vocal on the terrace right under his bedroom window. This morning I was surprised to find the terrace void of hens, but brimming with a random assortment of shoes. When Léo finally emerged, I asked him if he knew anything about the shower of shoes. Looking scarily thunderous, and with a hen-like flap of his forearms he screeched: ‘CUUAAAAA cua cua cua’. So the shoe-laden terrace is obviously Léo’s take on the concept of shoeing away the hens.
Quinoa is an ancient grain, reputed to have given the Aztecs enormous strength. It is very nutrient-dense, containing more protein than any other grain. It is also extremely rich in vitamins and minerals and has significant anti-inflammatory properties. It makes a marvellous alternative to rice.
Ingredients (serves 4)
250g quinoa, cooked and cooled
100g peas, cooked ‘al dente’ and cooled
200g chickpeas, cooked and cooled
50g cashew nuts, roughly chopped
1 shallot, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
5 fresh mint leaves
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3 tablespoons olive oil
Juice of half a lemon
Mix all the ingredients together in a medium-size bowl, adding the mint leaves, seasoning and olive oil and lemon last. Mix well and serve slightly chilled!
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Crab gratin and if it looks like a dog and barks like a dog…
…but eats like a human, then it’s probably Hugo.
I’m in splendid shape, but every year Bossy insists on taking me to visit the vet. She knows that I’m a force to be reckoned with when it comes to socialising with other animals, but she seems adamant on putting herself through the trauma. Upon arrival, I willingly led her – perhaps even dragged her if I’m entirely honest – to the door, which I only had to headbutt once to open. I then efficiently ushered her (again, if we’re being pedantic, ‘hauled her’ might be more accurate) to the reception desk, where I planted my front paws on the desk in a business-like manner. By this time, for some reason, Bossy was very red in the face. The vet is a nice lady and I gave her a big lick on the face to show that I felt no ill will towards her, even though she spent rather a long time prodding my private parts. When we were ready to leave, she told me that I had been a good boy (yeah, whatever) and gave me a dog biscuit. I mean, really? A dog biscuit? Who does she think I am? Camembert? Yes. Foie Gras? Yes. Dog biscuit? Err, not so much. Does she not know that I’m a foodie? Anyway, I spat it out onto the floor because I think it must have been a joke. Bossy by this time was even redder in the face and really quite flustered and tried to explain that I was off my food. What a liar! I’m not off normal food, just dog biscuits…
Ingredients (serves 4)
250g new potatoes, peeled, sliced and cooked
2 leeks, sliced and cooked
250g crabmeat (I used tinned)
150g sweetcorn
1 large spring onion, finely sliced
150ml pouring cream
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon chilli powder (optional)
100g hard cheese, grated (I used Comté)
Fresh parsley to garnish
Preheat the grill. Place the potatoes, leeks, crabmeat, sweetcorn and onion together in an oven-proof dish and then add the cream and seasoning. Mix well and sprinkle the grated cheese on top. Cook under the grill until the cheese is bubbling and golden (about eight minutes). Garnish with the fresh parsley before serving. -
Ratatouille and pride and prejudice
To start with, pride: Léo won his singles tennis match and his team were runners up in the tournament finals on Sunday, winning a silver cup for their valiant efforts. Had there been a cup for mothers who, against all odds, almost manage to keep their mouths shut, it would certainly have gone to me. The only thing to pass my lips was a discreet ‘make him run – he’s heavy’ (oh the shame!). It appears that I’m not the only one to suffer from Tournament Tourettes though; one boy’s mother was escorted off the court by an official for her loud and unsolicited ‘advice’ and ‘support’. Can you imagine? The cheek of the woman…
On to prejudice: Java keeps presenting me with her own prizes – body parts of a dead rabbit. So far today, I’ve been offered two legs (separately) and the head. She’s obviously just a dog doing doggie things, but instead of congratulating her on her hunting prowess, I am overcome by human bigotry and flee, screaming instructions (sensing a theme here?) at Luc to get rid of anything in the vicinity that is furry and dead. I might have to seek Hugo’s advice on how best to broach this with Java.
The word ratatouille comes from ‘touiller’, which means to stir or mix and the recipe originates from Nice in the South of France. There are many different versions, and I prefer mine to be light on tomato, heavy on red onion and garlic and cooked al dente.
Ingredients (serves 4)
100ml olive oil
1 red onion, chopped
2 spring onions, sliced
4 cloves of garlic, crushed
2 tomatoes, peeled and roughly chopped
1 red pepper, sliced
1 fennel, sliced
1 large courgette, peeled and cut into cubes
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
½ teaspoon Espelette pepper or paprika
Parsley or basil leaves to garnish
Heat the olive oil over a medium heat in a large cast iron pan. Add the onions and garlic and heat until softened. Add the tomato, pepper, fennel, courgette and seasoning, cover and leave to simmer over a medium heat, stirring occasionally for about 20 minutes or until the vegetables are softened, but not overcooked. Add the garnish before serving. -
Coconut crab risotto and bathroom devotion
Admittedly an unfortunate juxtaposition for my risotto, but I spent today mixing concrete. Never let it be said that I don’t lead a glamorous life. For the uninitiated amongst you, cement mixing is not dissimilar to mixing a very large cake, which I suppose doesn’t say much for my cakes. It’s very therapeutic though, concrete; I now better understand Winston Churchill’s passion for building walls. There was a bit of a low point this morning when I tripped and fell flat on my face, leaving 25kg of sloppy concrete mix to ooze in my wake, but other than that I think I did quite well. Although I’m obviously no expert, one top tip would be to keep the dogs well out of the way, because they will be tempted to come and ‘help’:
We’re in the process of building another bathroom – my husband is a big fan; adding on bathrooms is a hobby of his. If publications such as ‘Bathroom Weekly’ or ‘Faucets and Drains Today’ existed, he would certainly subscribe. In our previous house, last count, we had ten bathrooms. This is why we had to sell really – we had exhausted its bathroom potential. We’ve been in our present house for seven years and are now on our fourth. Hopefully we won’t break through the bathroom ceiling any time soon though because I like it here…
This is a recipe for a quick, easy but nonetheless delicious risotto. It never fails to please. And if ever you need advice on mixing cement, I’m your girl.
Ingredients (serves 4)
2 tablespoons coconut oil
3 shallots, finely chopped
1 red pepper, sliced and chopped
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 teaspoon of fresh ginger, grated
280g rice (I used whole basmati)
120ml white wine
700ml chicken or vegetable stock
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon chilli powder
150g sweetcorn
200ml coconut milk
300g tinned crabmeat
Handful of fresh basil, shredded
Heat the oil in large pan over a low heat, add the shallots and cook for five minutes until softened. Add the pepper, garlic and ginger and cook a little more. Add the rice and stir until it’s well coated with oil. Pour in the wine, stirring until all the liquid has been absorbed. Add the stock little by little and stir until almost completely absorbed. Repeat this process, adding the stock a ladle at a time, stirring constantly until all the stock has been used up (about 20 minutes). Add the seasoning and you can add more water if the rice isn’t cooked (this will be the case if you’re using whole basmati, as I did). Add the sweetcorn and coconut milk, stirring until the coconut milk absorbs. Add the crabmeat, cover and leave to heat through for about five minutes. Add the shredded basil to serve. -
Vegetable fritters (gf) and visually-challenged Setters
I think that Java needs glasses. Either that or a new brain, but I’m going to be charitable and go with the glasses theory. (As an aside, she also needs to learn which holes she can and can’t stick her nose into, because it’s looking a bit mangled at the moment. Still, we can’t all be hole experts.) Even allowing for the fact that she’s not the brightest, I’ve noticed her a few times recently rather proudly ‘marking’ plastic bags. I know plastic bags can flap in the wind a bit and do very fine bird imitations, but still: Really Java? You’re a dog with a supposedly superior sense of smell. I’m not sure how to broach the subject with her though; it’s a tricky one. Apparently English Setters are extremely sensitive to criticism, and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for tipping her over the edge by pointing out her mistake, tempted though I might be. I think I’ll just leave it to Bossy and her finely-tuned diplomacy skills to explain her error. Watch this space for one horribly humiliated English Setter *wicked dog chuckle*.
Ingredients (serves 4)
2 eggs, beaten
75g chickpea flour (although any flour will work)
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
125ml water
1 potato, peeled and grated
2 courgettes, peeled and grated
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1 onion, finely chopped
1 clove garlic, crushed
4 leaves fresh mint, cut into strips
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon curry powder
1 tablespoon of ghee for frying (you can use butter or oil)
Combine the beaten eggs, flour and bicarbonate of soda, gradually adding about 125ml of water to achieve a fairly thick pancake batter consistency. Add the grated vegetables, onion, garlic, fresh mint and seasoning and combine well, making sure that the vegetables are well incorporated. Heat the ghee in a large frying pan over a medium heat until melted and create several two tablespoon-sized fritters. Fry until golden brown (roughly 5 minutes), turn and repeat until all the fritters are cooked. -
Chicken with bacon and white wine and the latest dog horseplay
As I have absolutely no wish to linger on last weekend and Léo’s ‘totally cool skis that go backwards as well as forwards’ (this, according to the man in the rental shop, was a selling point), I’m going to talk about the dogs and their latest antics. Hugo and Java are a generation apart in dog years. While Hugo certainly isn’t averse to a bit of television (Scooby Doo being his favourite), he doesn’t really ‘do’ computers. Java does, and she apparently has strong opinions on graphics; yesterday she took unusual and hysterical exception to the screensaver that Léo had installed. I don’t blame her really – it was a sort of Grufallo monster menacingly yielding a leg of lamb. Anyway, she was ear-splittingly inconsolable until the offending image was replaced with something more serene. Meanwhile, Hugo was outside digging the World’s Biggest Hole. He was gone a couple of hours and, after frantic searching, I found him stranded 2m below ground level, covered in mud and sand trying to ‘liberate’ an unidentified, and no doubt petrified, small animal. He looked quite relieved to see me and my sturdy rope because I think he realised there was no way he was getting out on his own. In future Hugo: When you’re in a hole, stop digging!
This dish is quick and easy to make, but no less delicious for it. It is adapted from ‘Nigella Express’.
Ingredients (serves 4)
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 leek, washed and cut both ways
1 onion, chopped
4 mushrooms, sliced
4 rashers bacon
4 chicken escalopes (approx. 125g each)
100ml white wine
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
Put the olive oil in the frying pan and heat. Add the leek, onion, mushrooms and bacon and fry until the bacon is crisp. Remove the bacon and set aside. Fry the chicken until cooked through (a couple of minutes on each side). Put the bacon back into the pan, add the wine and cook until the wine bubbles. Season to taste and serve with rice and a salad or green beans. -
Chickpea pizza base (gf) and branching out
A few days ago I received an email from a soft furnishings company saying that they would ‘love to write a guest post’ for my blog. This was followed by an email from an online gaming company suggesting the same thing. Call me parochial, but I’m still struggling to understand the relevance; gluten-free sofas, buckwheat light shades and deep-fried poker? Is this perhaps just the next step in the lateral thinking that claims courgettes are the new spaghetti and cauliflower the new rice? Still, I’m baffled, even in my capacity as the queen of non sequiturs (I’m always launching into totally unrelated conversational hemispheres – one minute you’re telling me about your holiday and the next I’m grilling you on how to teach a horse to pirouette).
So here’s a deliciously light chickpea pizza base that might or might not make for stunning cushion covers or perhaps put you in mind of a roulette wheel…
Ingredients (makes two 15cm pizzas)
150g chickpea flour
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
a pinch of salt
Fresh rosemary leaves
200ml water
I clove garlic, crushed
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon ghee (or you could use butter)
Combine the flour, bicarbonate of soda, salt and rosemary in a medium-sized bowl. Gradually add the water, whisking continuously to form a paste. Add the garlic, and olive oil and leave the batter to stand at room temperature for about 30 minutes. Melt half of the ghee in a 15cm frying pan and add half of the batter. Fry on both sides until golden brown. Repeat with the remaining ghee and batter. Add your toppings of choice and cook in a hot oven for 15 minutes. -
Savoury chickpea muffins and cold, white stuff
Everything was all white this morning (my punishment for making silly puns is that I now have the Bill Withers song ‘Lovely Day’ stuck on repeat in my head: ‘Then I look at you, And the world’s all white with me, Just one look at you, And I know it’s gonna be a lovely day…’).
Snow in this area is rare, which means that when it does happen, everything grinds to a halt; Hugo being a case in point. He dipped one paw into the cold, white stuff, looked around quizzically, sighed heavily and turned back into the house. Java and Léo, on the other hand, were absolutely delighted. Snow is a precious commodity. So much so that I now have a freezer full of ready-to-throw snowballs, which is, I assume, the ammunition equivalent of microwave meals. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he didn’t try to take them to school in a cooler box.
Like Hugo, the migratory cranes in the cornfield to the back of the house looked very cheesed-off. I think they were probably lamenting their choice of winter destination: ‘That’s the last time we’re coming here – what a rip-off! We flew 5,000 kilometres for a bit of sun and this is what we end up with. We could have stayed at home if we’d wanted snow!’. Maybe Hugo will migrate south next winter in case the nasty, white stuff strikes again.
Chickpeas (or garbanzos) have a very low-GI and are a rich source of fibre, making them ideal for digestive disorders and weight loss. They are also rich in protein (in the form of amino acids), minerals (especially manganese, selenium and iron), vitamin K, folates and antioxidants (saponins).
Ingredients (makes 12)
200g spelt flour
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon cumin seeds
1 teaspoon chilli powder
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
400g chickpeas, pre-cooked and mashed
2 eggs, beaten
100ml olive oil
75g cheddar cheese, grated (any hard cheese will do)
1 onion, chopped
½ red pepper, chopped
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Combine the flour, seasoning, spices and bicarbonate of soda in a large bowl. In a second bowl, combine the chickpeas, eggs and oil, mixing well. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, folding together well. Lastly incorporate the grated cheese, onion and red pepper. Transfer the mixture to muffin tins or moulds (I use silicon moulds) and bake for 20-25 minutes or until a fork comes out clean. Delicious served hot or cold. -
Best wishes for the new year, duxelles quiche and soggy ears
A very Happy 2015 to everybody!
Our New Year has started true to form: one dog is wearing a filthy tennis sock, fetchingly held in place by a rubber band and the other dog has soggy, disheveled ears full of impossibly matted knots. Hugo had a bit of a paw mishap, which explains his incongruous footwear. Presumably to take his mind off the pain, he has taken to chewing Java’s ears, which explains her unladylike appearance. He chews them in a ‘try and stop me if you dare’ kind of way that brings to mind old westerns where the cowboys chewed ‘baccy’ and then spit it out on the ground. I’m half expecting him to thump down a shot glass and growl for another whisky to wash down his ribs and beans. I never imagined for a second that I might one day need advice on how to untangle an English Setter’s soggy ears and yet, here I am asking. If anyone can impart some wisdom it would be most welcome because I’ve tried combing, brushing, coaxing and blackmail to no avail. She’s very fidgety and slippery and it’s a bit like trying to coif a hyperactive eel which, all things considered, I could probably do without…
These mushroom quiches are really tasty and quite rich. The crushed oats make the pastry particularly crisp, nicely complimenting the filling.
Ingredients (serves 6 – 8)
Pastry:
100g spelt flour
50g buckwheat flour
50g crushed oats
1 tablespoon olive oil
50g butter
20g virgin coconut oil
Roughly 6 tablespoons of cold water
Filling:
4 large mushrooms, finely chopped
2 shallots, finely chopped
2 rashers of bacon, finely chopped
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 egg
150 ml double cream
To make the pastry, begin by cutting the butter and coconut oil into small cubes. Add to the flours and oats in a mixing bowl and add a pinch of sea salt. Blend by hand until the mixture becomes crumbly. Add the cold water, mixing rapidly with a spoon. Remove the mixture from the bowl onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until you obtain a ball of pastry (if the mixture isn’t ‘sticky’ enough to form a ball, you may need a drop more water). Wrap in a clean cotton tea towel and leave to ‘rest’ in the fridge for about two hours. This relaxes the dough and makes it easier to use.
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Roll out the pastry on a clean, lightly floured surface and fill the tart tin or tins. As this pastry contains buckwheat flour and oats it will be quite fragile. You’ll find that you have to treat it delicately and possibly fill in the cracks with remaining bits of pastry by pressing gently. I use individual tart tins. Precook the pastry for 12 minutes.
To make the filling, combine the finely chopped mushrooms, shallots and bacon and line the quiche cases with the mixture. Break the egg into a small bowl and add the cream and seasoning (salt, pepper, paprika). Beat well to form a homogenous mixture. Pour the egg/cream mixture over the top and cook for 18 minutes.
