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Mussels ‘marinières’ and a Christmas present from Java
Java and I were out on a little jaunt this weekend when Java found a dead wood pigeon. To be honest, I’m surprised she even saw it because I don’t think that her eyesight is quite what it might be; she often mistakes objects and also does this funny cross-eyed thing. Being a perfect gentledog, I offered to carry it home for her, but she was quite stubborn in her desire to hang on to it, even though she had to stop every few metres because it was almost as big as her. When we finally got back home, which took a while because Java has neither my staying power nor my common sense when it comes to carrying things, Bossy took one look and shrieked. What is with Bossy and her shrill screams when we give her presents? And no, there won’t be a recipe for wood pigeon to follow because Bossy and her delicate constitution insisted that we give it to the neighbour, saying she wanted nothing to do with plucking pigeons. As for Java, she was spitting out feathers all evening in a most unladylike way. I think next time she’ll let me take care of the transport.
I don’t like mussels much, except obviously my own masculine dog ones. Java seems quite keen to chew the shells though – maybe she’s teething.
Mussels are surprisingly good for you. Not only are they a high quality complete protein, they are also a rich source of vitamin B12, manganese, iron, iodine and vitamin C.
Ingredients (serves 4)
2 kg fresh mussels
30g butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 shallots, finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
4 sprigs fresh thyme
1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
150ml dry white wine (Muscadet is excellent)
Wash the mussels in cold running water making sure to remove any grit or sand. Discard any that float or any that are already open. Heat the butter and oil in a large saucepan over a low heat. Add the shallots and garlic and cook for a few minutes until softened. Add the mussels and coat well with the melted butter, oil and shallots. Add the herbs and seasoning and then the wine. Bring to a simmer and cook for about five minutes until the mussels have opened. Eat immediately, preferably with French fries cooked in duck fat. -
Lamb shanks braised in red wine and uncharitable planetary alignments
In true French style, I blame my mortifying behaviour yesterday on a very unfavourable planetary alignment. Within the space of just a few hours, I repeatedly proved to be a source of acute embarrassment to my long-suffering son, Léo. We went to a computer shop where I ‘asked inappropriate questions’ that made it look as if ‘I didn’t know what I was talking about’. Nothing new there then. In a rush to drop him off at tennis training (the condescension was wearing thin), I apparently did a ‘very illegal U-turn in front of a policeman without my seatbelt on’. The policeman was very indulgent and graciously laughed it off. The son didn’t; I got chapter and verse until the tennis club, where I was happy to launch into conversation with the team coach, only to establish that ‘I don’t possess the competence necessary to read the dates correctly on a tournament schedule’ (in my defense, it was extremely ambiguous). Wanting to save the best for last, I got up to leave, congratulating myself on having found a shortcut out of the new indoor courts. Only it turned out that my shortcut was more of a short circuit, because it set off the (immoderately noisy) alarm system in front of 40 odd people (obviously meaning about 40 people, not 40 strange people because that would be the pot calling the kettle black). The alarm that is directly linked to the police station. I wonder if the policeman was as understanding as he had been about the U-turn. I’m afraid I didn’t hang around to find out…
This is a simple but delightfully warming recipe for autumn/winter. It is adapted from the ‘French Brasserie Cookbook’ by Daniel Galmiche, which is full of fairly straightforward, typically French homestyle recipes.
Ingredients (serves 4-6)
4 lamb shanks
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, chopped
2 shallots, chopped
4 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 fennel bulb, chopped
2 carrots, peeled and sliced
4 tablespoons tomato purée
750ml full-bodied red wine
500ml vegetable stock
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
4 sprigs of fresh thyme
Preheat the oven to 150°C. Heat the olive oil in a large casserole dish and once the oil is hot, add the lamb shanks to seal them, turning frequently. Add the onion, shallots, garlic, fennel and carrots and cook for a further five to ten minutes, stirring frequently. Add the tomato purée and the wine and cook until the liquid has reduced by about half. Add the stock , seasoning and thyme and bring to a boil. Cook in the oven for at least two hours, removing to stir from time to time so that the meat doesn’t dry out. Once cooked, the lamb should be deliciously tender and falling off the bone and the sauce should have reduced. Delicious served with creamed potatoes to soak up the sauce.
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Buckwheat galettes every which way
The crêperie concept has been around since the fifteenth century in France, when stalls serving savoury galettes and later sweet crêpes first appeared around marketplaces. There was a choice of filling such as eggs, bacon and cheese for the savoury galettes and afterwards sweet crêpes were offered flavoured with cinnamon and orange water.
When I first arrived in France at the end of the ’80s every town had a least one, and usually several, Breton-style crêperies. They were always fun, bustling and offered an accessible, deliciously light but satisfying meal out for everyone; a galette washed down with bowl of cider was the French answer to fast food. Today, although creperies still exist, there are far fewer than before, many having been replaced by the ubiquitous, stomach-churning, fast food chains selling unidentified deep-fried ground organs between slabs of polystyrene. Despite their culinary heritage, many of the French have become addicted to the ‘fix’ provided by these eateries.
Galettes are made with buckwheat flour, a very healthy gluten-free alternative to wheat flour. Despite its name, buckwheat is not a type of wheat at all, but a plant closely related to rhubarb and is rich in amino acids, B vitamins and minerals, including iron.
There are many different variations on the recipe, sometimes according to which region of France you are in, but after trial and error this is the one I prefer. Galettes are so versatile they can be adapted for breakfast, lunch of dinner. You can fill them with ham, different types of cheese, bacon, sausage, egg, scallops, smoked salmon, mushrooms or make them raclette-style with potato, ham and cheese. The list is endless. We sometimes have them with a different filling after a bowl of soup as an evening meal several days in a row with no complaints from humans or hounds. And that’s saying something.
Ingredients (makes 12 galettes)
250g buckwheat flour
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
a pinch of salt
2 eggs
500ml cold water
Butter for cooking
Put the eggs and dry ingredients into a mixing bowl and whisk well. Add the water gradually, whisking continuously until you obtain a homogenous mixture. Melt a small amount of butter in a frying pan (preferably a ‘crepe’ pan) and then ladle some batter onto the hot surface, tilting the pan to distribute evenly. Cook for until golden brown and turn. If you are adding a filling such as ham and cheese, now is the time to add it onto one side of the galette. Cook until the cheese is melted and then fold the galette in two. Serve immediately. -
Savoury buckwheat muffins (gf) and a dog in a whirl
Have you ever seen a dog spin like a top? No, nor had I. Over the past 20 years or so I have become well accustomed to the Labrador brand of madness; eternally immature, beyond boisterous and absolutely fanatical chewers. But nothing had prepared me for the particular brand of madness that belongs to the young English Setter. I once read that although intelligent, English Setters are not easy to train as they’re easily distracted and exceedingly wilful. Well there’s an understatement if ever I heard one. In addition, they are very sensitive and do not take well to criticism or to be being told off (who does?). I’ve witnessed some lunacy over the years, but Java took the biscuit yesterday. She got her foot caught in her collar, which resulted in her spinning round and round very rapidly on three legs. Just watching her made me feel dizzy, but I managed to slow her down enough to free her foot and she collapsed to the floor with her eyes askew and glazed over as if she’d just necked a couple of generous measures of absinthe.
Sleeping it off
These muffins combine the toasty nuttiness of buckwheat flour, the warm earthiness of cumin seeds and the saltiness of melted cheese. Just what you need when you’ve been abusing the absinthe.
Ingredients (makes 8-10 muffins)
2 eggs
150ml olive oil
150g buckwheat flour
50g polenta
½ teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon cumin grains
150g courgettes, peeled and grated
2 shallots, peeled and chopped
150g comté cheese, cut into very small cubes
Preheat the oven to 180°C. Break the eggs into a mixing bowl, add the olive oil and then beat well. Mix the dry ingredients together (flour, polenta, bicarbonate of soda, baking powder and seasoning) and combine with the egg/oil mixture. Stir in the remaining ingredients and then transfer to a muffin tin, filling each mould almost to the top. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean. Best served warm. -
Chicken risotto and scary toys
I feel acutely embarrassed on Java’s behalf telling you this story, but needs must. A few weeks ago, a kind friend gave us some stuffed toys. Obviously I don’t play with toys because I’m fully-developed and mature, not an emotional car crash like some. So I gallantly left them all to ‘some’. She seemed to quite enjoy them at first, but soon became terrified after trying to ‘kill’ one of them with her dainty little girl teeth. Its insides spewed out all over her bed, traumatising her so much that she wouldn’t go near the bed after that, even once Bossy had tidied up. Of course this meant that she ended up on my bed and I had to decamp to the couch because she snores like a steam train. In an attempt to regain my bed, I tried to explain that she hadn’t really killed the toys because they weren’t alive in the first place and their ‘innards’ were only stuffing, but her dippiness has hidden depths and she wasn’t to be consoled. One thing I’ve noticed is that dogs with very long names – Java’s full name is Java de la Croix de Ganelon – are often the most irretrievably dippy. I’m just plain old Hugo, which speaks volumes don’t you think?
Ingredients (serves 4)
1 tablespoon olive oil or ghee
1 onion, chopped
1 shallot, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
6 mushrooms, sliced
400g rice (I used basmati)
50ml white wine
Se salt and freshly ground black pepper
½ teaspoon saffron
½ teaspoon turmeric
½ teaspoon paprika
2 tomatoes, blanched, peeled and chopped
1 litre chicken or vegetable stock
200g frozen peas
100g bacon, cooked and sliced
400g leftover chicken
50g parmesan, grated
Heat the oil or ghee in a large frying pan and brown the onions, shallot, mushrooms and garlic until soft. Add the rice and stir well until it is all coated with oil, then add the wine and simmer until reduced. Add the seasoning and tomatoes and then about a quarter of the stock and leave to simmer, stirring until the stock has been absorbed. Add the peas and continue adding stock and stirring until the rice is almost cooked. Add the bacon and chicken, stirring well. Once the bacon and chicken are completely heated through and the rice is cooked, remove from the heat and add the grated parmesan, stirring until melted.
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Cream of porcini soup and dog day trips
Immediately following The Ditch Fiasco, Hugo was very solicitous and insisted on staying by my side at all times. This was very sweet, but a bit of a logistical nightmare when it came to showers etc. After a little while though, the novelty of me not moving anywhere very fast wore off and he began to search for new horizons. Deciding that Luc’s porcini hunts were a poor substitute for long hikes, Hugo took matters into his own paws by organising vigorous ‘sorties’ every morning to our neighbours’ house a kilometre away. This was a sly plan for two reasons: Their cats hadn’t yet eaten their food (which he gallantly saw to) and his coming home either entailed a horse being saddled up to accompany him, or his absolute favourite – a car trip. I’ve managed to curtail the visits for the moment with the promise of short walks and Java’s electric collar. Why is it I seem to specialise in errant, insubordinate animals?
We have had more porcini than ever this year. I think that the combination of a hot Indian Summer and just the right amount of rain have made for ideal growing conditions. Porcini soup sounds very decadent, but less so when you’re finding several kilos a day.
Ingredients (serves 4)
300g fresh porcini mushrooms, cleaned and sliced
30g butter
2 shallots, peeled and sliced
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 medium size potato, peeled and cubed
2 tablespoons parsley, chopped
10ml white wine
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
750ml chicken or vegetable stock
50ml single cream
Place the mushrooms, butter, shallots and garlic in a large saucepan, heat gently and leave to ‘sweat’ for about five minutes. Add the potato and parsley and cook for another couple of minutes. Add the white wine and seasoning and then the stock. Bring to a gentle simmer and leave to cook for a further 20 minutes. Remove from the heat, add the cream and blend. -
Spaghetti alla vodka and dogs on ditches
Hello everyone! Due to Broken Bossy’s temporary incapacitation I have taken on many extra responsibilities, including cooking and writing today’s blog. Obviously I’m quite exhausted, but BB is progressing very well, although she had a bit of a cold which caused her to utter eye-wateringly naughty words every time she sneezed. Still, on the bright side, at least she lost her voice for a bit which, believe me, had not been adversely affected by the accident. I don’t consult with Java on many subjects as I don’t ever believe she can contribute to my overflowing fountain of wisdom and knowledge, but I did ask her recently what she thought about the ditch incident. We are both completely flummoxed as to all the fuss and bother involved. How could you possibly hurt yourself so badly falling into one in the first place, and how could it take so long and involve so many people to get out? Java and I are in and out of ditches all day without so much as a blink of an eye, but Bossy? Not so; one little ditch visit and it’s pandemonium followed by wheelchair, crutches and an onslaught of barked commands for the next six weeks. I really don’t know why humans think they’re superior – they’re so fragile! I’m just glad to be a tough, ditch-smart dog.
I’m not an expert at cooking for humans so we’re eating lots of things from the freezer, which seems to be packed full of bags of tomato sauce. If you already have a good tomato sauce, this recipe is very easy and I thought that the vodka content might help with BB’s pain a bit!
Ingredients (serves 4)
250g spaghetti (I used spelt spaghetti)
Pinch of sea salt
300g fresh tomato sauce
75ml vodka
75ml cream
Grated Parmesan and freshly-ground black pepper for serving
Cook the pasta in salted water according to the instructions. Add the tomato sauce and vodka to a medium saucepan and heat for a few minutes, stirring well, until the mixture begins to reduce. Add the cream, stir to combine and then reduce heat and leave to simmer very gently for a few minutes. Combine the drained pasta and sauce and toss to mix well. Sprinkle on the Parmesan, grind on the pepper and serve.
This recipe has been submitted to the ‘Pasta Please Challenge’, hosted by Supper in the Suburbs and Tinned Tomatoes. -
Barbecue sauce and fried neurones
My nerves have taken a hit this week. Léo, in a bid to make up for lost time after finally having his plaster cast removed, thought that running with bulls, swinging from trees on ropes and bumper cars would all be excellent rehabilitation techniques. His schemes, each more horrifying than the last, had me rushing to enquire about the possibility of having hand brakes and airbags installed on the horses.
Java befriended a hedgehog and has a permanently bloody nose as a result. Without wishing to cast aspersions, I think she’s yet to make the link between her bleeding nose and new-found love. Even the eminently wise Hugo has become self-appointed Inspector of Wasp Nests and has a nasty sting above his eye to show for it. It seems that the long-lasting extreme heat has got to us all – hopefully our neurones will fall back into place in the next few days, although I’m not holding my breath…
I made this barbecue chicken dish for Léo’s birthday – he’s a big fan. It is made with fresh tomato sauce which makes it relatively healthy, and it’s deliciously tangy. I cooked it in the oven, but I’m sure it would be excellent barbecued too.
Ingredients (serves 4-6)
150ml fresh tomato sauce
100ml apple cider vinegar
Dash of worcester sauce
50g cane sugar
3 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Preheat the oven to 200°C. Combine the ingredients in a small saucepan and simmer for about five minutes, or until the sauce begins to thicken. Coat the chicken and cook for about 25 minutes or until the coating begins to caramelise. -
Quinoa salad and it’s raining shoes, hallelujah!
Humidity is rising – barometre‘s getting low
According to all sources, the street’s the place to go
‘Cause tonight for the first time
Just about half-past two
For the first time in history
It’s gonna start raining shoes.
Like most 12-year-olds, Léo is partial to sleeping in the morning, especially during the holidays. Unfortunately for him, the morning is the time when the hens are at their busiest and noisiest and they seem to enjoy being particularly vocal on the terrace right under his bedroom window. This morning I was surprised to find the terrace void of hens, but brimming with a random assortment of shoes. When Léo finally emerged, I asked him if he knew anything about the shower of shoes. Looking scarily thunderous, and with a hen-like flap of his forearms he screeched: ‘CUUAAAAA cua cua cua’. So the shoe-laden terrace is obviously Léo’s take on the concept of shoeing away the hens.
Quinoa is an ancient grain, reputed to have given the Aztecs enormous strength. It is very nutrient-dense, containing more protein than any other grain. It is also extremely rich in vitamins and minerals and has significant anti-inflammatory properties. It makes a marvellous alternative to rice.
Ingredients (serves 4)
250g quinoa, cooked and cooled
100g peas, cooked ‘al dente’ and cooled
200g chickpeas, cooked and cooled
50g cashew nuts, roughly chopped
1 shallot, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
5 fresh mint leaves
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3 tablespoons olive oil
Juice of half a lemon
Mix all the ingredients together in a medium-size bowl, adding the mint leaves, seasoning and olive oil and lemon last. Mix well and serve slightly chilled!
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Crab gratin and if it looks like a dog and barks like a dog…
…but eats like a human, then it’s probably Hugo.
I’m in splendid shape, but every year Bossy insists on taking me to visit the vet. She knows that I’m a force to be reckoned with when it comes to socialising with other animals, but she seems adamant on putting herself through the trauma. Upon arrival, I willingly led her – perhaps even dragged her if I’m entirely honest – to the door, which I only had to headbutt once to open. I then efficiently ushered her (again, if we’re being pedantic, ‘hauled her’ might be more accurate) to the reception desk, where I planted my front paws on the desk in a business-like manner. By this time, for some reason, Bossy was very red in the face. The vet is a nice lady and I gave her a big lick on the face to show that I felt no ill will towards her, even though she spent rather a long time prodding my private parts. When we were ready to leave, she told me that I had been a good boy (yeah, whatever) and gave me a dog biscuit. I mean, really? A dog biscuit? Who does she think I am? Camembert? Yes. Foie Gras? Yes. Dog biscuit? Err, not so much. Does she not know that I’m a foodie? Anyway, I spat it out onto the floor because I think it must have been a joke. Bossy by this time was even redder in the face and really quite flustered and tried to explain that I was off my food. What a liar! I’m not off normal food, just dog biscuits…
Ingredients (serves 4)
250g new potatoes, peeled, sliced and cooked
2 leeks, sliced and cooked
250g crabmeat (I used tinned)
150g sweetcorn
1 large spring onion, finely sliced
150ml pouring cream
Sea salt and freshly-ground black pepper
1 teaspoon chilli powder (optional)
100g hard cheese, grated (I used Comté)
Fresh parsley to garnish
Preheat the grill. Place the potatoes, leeks, crabmeat, sweetcorn and onion together in an oven-proof dish and then add the cream and seasoning. Mix well and sprinkle the grated cheese on top. Cook under the grill until the cheese is bubbling and golden (about eight minutes). Garnish with the fresh parsley before serving.