• Guest post,  Nutritional information

    Guest post: Dick Strawbridge, a walled garden, and my need to change…

    I would like to welcome back KJ, who last wrote a couple of guest posts in 2013.

    Although my partner and I live in Germany, we are able to enjoy British television, compliments of those wonderful discs that sit on our rooftop. One of the shows that I will not miss, under any conditions, is ‘Escape to the Chateau’, with Dick and Angel Strawbridge. If you enjoy good food and French architecture, but have not seen this amazing show, your life is incomplete. They are also two very funny people and down to earth, to boot.

    When these two intrepid British souls moved to France, it was to restore an amazing, but neglected, French Chateau, with outbuildings, acres of woods and a moat. Fortunately, Dick is a retired Army engineer and has done most of the work himself, with the help of a few friends and professionals.

    Besides building things, Dick Strawbridge’s domestic passion is cooking, and one of his dreams was to find a chateau with a garden, and a walled garden was his ultimate, which he now has, at the Chateau de la Motte-Husson. The secret of a walled garden is how it can be divided into four sections, each one receiving sunlight at a different time of day, throughout the year, allowing for changing growing seasons, in each quadrant. I have to say I have seldom seen anyone quite as overjoyed as he was, when he discovered the garden on the property. Now, he can grow his own vegetables for his kitchen, and he has planted fruit trees, as well as his beginning the cultivation of truffles for his kitchen – and I hope you will have an opportunity to see his restored kitchen.

    The ‘my need to change part’, comes from having a body part removed about seventeen months ago (gallbladder), which has altered what I can eat. It was recommended to me that I follow the FODMAP method of eating, which is for persons with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). Fortunately, I have been eating in a similar manner, for years. However, there are now some not-so-subtle changes which require an adjustment and I am having to adapt.

    First, it is a must that I cut out meat on a regular basis and only allow beef into my diet twice per month, and not on consecutive days. The same for pork and chicken, at this point, as the body does not process meat as well as it did before. I am not a fan of most fish, but, I realize the Mediterranean diet is the healthiest one, so I am going to put a clothespin on my nose and hope for the best. Finding good, fresh fish in the middle of Germany is not easy and I will have to make do with the frozen salmon and such that I can find, locally, for now. The crab meat I wanted for Fiona’s crab cake recipe is nonexistent, in my part of the world. I might try using the prawns I have, instead, as an experiment.

    Second, because of the current crisis, the choices in most materials, including vegetables, locally, are inconsistent, much like the paper products, which have been nonexistent for five weeks. Did anyone ever imagine buying toilet paper on Amazon? I’m not saying I did, and I’m not saying I didn’t.

    In the photo below, I have gathered the vegetables I am able to procure with some regularity. My challenge is finding ways to prepare them, for either a solo performance, or in tandem with another vegetable, in a ‘new’ way, other than my usual steaming, salting, and peppering – with a dollop of butter. Whatever I do with vegetables, they will likely be paired with prawns, mini frozen shrimp, tuna (canned), or North Atlantic Salmon. All of these I am able to find at our local stores, and I can enjoy, unlike octopus or clams. I have the salad angle covered, with Romaine, one of the sea creatures mentioned, and appropriate additional vegetables. Where my talent suffers is vegetable dishes on the side, in a main course. Ideas are welcome and, if I use your suggestion, proper attribution will be given during the meal. I promise. I may even raise a glass and sing your praise to my fellow diners. That’s a maybe.

  • Nutritional information,  Savoury

    Vodka and orange duck in confinement

    Vodka and orange duck

    We have been in isolation for three weeks so far (we started a week before obligatory confinement was instated in France because Léo was ill.) It has been an emotional rollercoaster and so far I have been: horribly worried (when Léo was ill), hysterical with laughter (when Luc ended up in the middle of the pool on the sit-on lawn-mower), covered in fat (when I ‘broke’ our whole plumbing system in a duck fat-related mishap), a sweaty mess (chasing the horses who had done a runner when we resorted to using them as substitute lawnmowers) and, this morning, super confused when my phone suddenly converted to Chinese and my son to speaking with a Russian accent, demanding to be called Boris (wtf?).

    Léo had a high fever, very low blood pressure, generalised aches and pains, an excruciatingly sore throat, night sweats and a loss of sense of taste and smell. The doctor didn’t test because he hadn’t been in any particular ‘risk zones’ (at the time there were specific cluster spots in France), but he thought his symptoms were pretty conclusive. Of course, as Covid-19 is a ‘new’ virus, I treated it as I would any virus.

    A few people have asked me for suggestions of what to take, if anything, to help defend themselves against Covid-19, so here are details of how I helped Léo. This isn’t miraculous, but then nothing is against viruses — he was still quite ill for about five days — but I’m fairly certain that it reduced both the severity and the duration.

    I’ve always been very interested in the chemist Linus Pauling’s extensive research on vitamin C. Linus Pauling had numerous accolades for his work, including two undivided Nobel Prizes. High-dose IV vitamin C is currently being used in clinical trials in hospitals in China, the US and Italy. Vitamin C is very safe, and has no side-effects beyond perhaps a bit of stomach acidity.

    How I treated covid

    At the first sign of symptoms I gave Léo: 1,000mg of vitamin C every couple of hours (vitamin C is water-soluble and the body doesn’t store it), 5,000 IU of vitamin D/day, 20mg zinc/day, 10,000 IU vitamin A/day, 100mg thiamine/day, and 1mg melatonin an hour before bed. As his symptoms eased over the next few days, I gradually decreased and spaced out the doses of vitamin C, but maintained the other supplements.

    Luc and I took the same supplements, although we took vitamin C just once a day as we weren’t really sick. I felt slightly weak and feverish with the beginnings of a sore throat one day, so I took several extra doses of vitamin C and the symptoms abated within a few days.

    A fever is salutary (think of it as the body’s built-in detoxifying sauna), so unless you’re at risk of seizures, I think it’s better to let it run its course. If you can avoid paracetamol and especially ibuprofen, it’s preferable. Avoid sugar (it reduces the efficacity of white blood cells) and make sure to stay hydrated. Also, if you are sweating a lot, be sure to replace electrolytes (especially potassium which viruses can deplete).

    Further information:

    The Linus Pauling Institute.

    https://lpi.oregonstate.edu

    Dr Cheng PhD, who is overseeing clinical trials in Shanghai, China.

    https://youtu.be/QvXpgY8scqw

    Similar trials are taking place in New York and Italy.

    https://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT04323514

    http://orthomolecular.org

    Dr Malcolm Kendrick’s advice for Coronavirus

    https://drmalcolmkendrick.org/2020/03/18/coronavirus-covid-19/

    Doris Loh, Independant Research on Ascorbic Acid and Melatonin in the context of Covid 19

    http://www.melatonin-research.net/index.php/MR/article/view/86

    Duck is something we have in abundance in Southwest France. The other ingredients are things I always tend to have in the kitchen. I used dry shitake mushrooms, but any mushrooms will do.

    Recipe for vodka and orange duck (serves 6)

    • 1 duck
    • 1 tablespoon sesame seed oil
    • 2 shallots, sliced
    • 1 clove of garlic, crushed
    • 6 star anise
    • 6 shitake mushrooms, sliced
    • 1 orange, peeled and sliced
    • 4 prunes, pitted
    • 2 tablespoons of honey
    • Sea salt, freshly ground black pepper
    • 2 teaspoons Chinese 5-spice powder
    • Soya sauce (or I used coconut aminos)
    • 1 generous shot of vodka
    • 100ml chicken or vegetable stock

    Preheat the oven to 180°C. Put a little sesame seed oil and the duck in a medium-sized casserole dish. Add the shallots and garlic over a gentle heat. Add the star anise, mushrooms and sliced orange on top of the duck. Add the prune to the dish and finally pour over the honey and season. When the shallots are translucide, add the vodka and stock. Cook on for at least two hours (duck doesn’t really dry out), or for longer on a lower heat.

    Stay well everyone!

  • Nutritional information

    Turkey Tail medicinal mushroom (coriolus versicolor) and wet dogs

    The rainfall in southwestern France in the past month has been unprecedented. The dogs are in despair; neither of them likes getting wet from rain, despite their enthusiasm for soaking in mud, puddles and rivers. They have been systematically checking the weather through all the doors (we have doors on three sides of the house) to see if it really is still raining in every direction! 

    Image

    Turkey Tail fungus is at its best in the autumn and winter months in the Northern hemisphere, in time for the cold and flu season. It earned its name due to its fan shape which ressembles the tail of a turkey, and its Latin name, Coriolus Versicolor, due to its variety of colours. It can be found relatively easily growing in clusters on tree stumps or branches of hardwood trees; the fact that it grows on pine alerted ancient Taoists to its potential medicinal properties because pine is a notorious antifungal tree. They concluded that a mushroom with such tenacity must possess extraordinary medicinal properties, and they weren’t wrong. It is usually dried and taken in tea-form as it’s much too tough and bitter to be edible.

    Turkey Tail is full of polysaccharides, triterpenes and beta glucans which provide immune support and regulation. The beta glucans, PSK and PSP, are of special interest as they are unique and have shown to have powerful anticancer properties. PSK and PSB have the ability, not only to regenerate the white blood cells needed to fight infection, but also to stimulate the other cells essential for the immune system to do is job properly.

    PSK has undergone intense study in Japan where the government have approved its use in the treatment of several types of cancer. Today it is the best-selling anticancer drug on Japanese market and is used in combination with surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation treatment.

    Beyond these impressive anti-cancer properties, Turkey Tail is packed with antioxidants, excellent for treating inflammation throughout the body, fighting all forms of viral infections and increasing strength and stamina. It also has powerful antibacterial qualities, and contains prebiotics that assist the microbiome, meaning it can help the growth of good bacteria in the gut, including acidophilus and bifidobacterium.

    A word of warning: do NOT ingest any mushroom or fungi that has not been identified by a specialist.

  • Breakfast,  Gluten-free,  Hugo blogs,  Nutritional information,  Sweet

    Fig and almond muffins and Hugo makes a point

    Fig and almond muffins
    Dog journalist

    Just a few words from me today because I’m busy proving a point. If you saw Bossy’s last post, you’ll know that she’s gone all hippy dippy on the animal communciation front. I was sceptical about Bossy’s insect repellent story and asked Jojo whether her claims were true. It turns out he had just played along so she would shut up; insect repellent was, it seems, the lesser of two evils and far preferable to listening to her jabber on.

    So I set out to prove to Bossy that her new-found ‘talents’ are but a figment (see what I did there?) of her overactive imagination: I block access to cupboard doors in the kitchen, stay out late into the night, steal food from the worktop, growl at Java and sleep on the sofa. Bossy can dog whisper explanations as to why she isn’t loving my behaviour all she likes, I won’t be influenced. I just hope she doesn’t discover my invaluable new tool: industrial-strength ear plugs.

    Figs are in abundance at the moment. We are giving them out to everyone we know, but they are still getting the better of us. Figs are rich in fibre and vital vitamins and minerals, such as vitamins A, B1, B2 and K, manganese, potassium, magnesium, calcium, copper, iron and phosphorus. They also contain antioxidants.

    Ingredients (makes 12 muffins)

    125g coconut oil, softened

    150g buckwheat flour (normal flour will work fine too)

    2 large eggs

    1 teaspoon baking powder

    150g cane sugar

    60g ground almonds

    50ml milk

    6 fresh figs, chopped

    Preheat the oven to 180°C. Cream the coconut oil in the mixer until well softened. Add a spoonful of flour, beat again, then add the eggs, beating further until the mixture is light and fluffy. Add a little more flour to prevent curdling. Gently fold in the rest of the flour, baking powder, sugar, ground almonds and milk. Lastly, fold the chopped figs into the mix. Spoon the mixture into muffin trays and bake for 30 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean.

  • Nutritional information

    Cherries and asylums


    If I go off the radar in the near future, the chances are high that I’ve been wheeled off by the nice men in white coats. We are averaging six or seven calls a day at the moment from people trying to sell insulation. I often leave the answerphone to deal with them, but on Friday evening, in a bid to let off steam (it’s been hellishly hot), I picked up. Based on the premise that the best form of defence is attack, before the caller could even speak, I said: ‘I have something to sell YOU for a change; we’re offering two nights for the price of a week for all of August and we have a couple of vacancies if I can tempt you! What have you got to say to that? Huh! Huh?’. There was a bit of a silence until our poor unsuspecting doctor spluttered: ‘errr bonjour! I was only calling to say that you’d left your prescription in my office and you might want to stop by and pick it up. Or not – as you wish! Bonne soirée!’ He’ll probably have added a strong dose of valium to my prescription by the time I go to pick it up. It wouldn’t have been quite so bad if I didn’t have ‘form’;  the last time he ‘phoned had been to enquire about my dislocated hand and I told him I’d put it back into place by punching my husband. I forgot to say that the punch had been totally inadvertent.
    So swiftly moving on, cherries are not only in season, they are deliciously moorish and absolutely packed with health benefits. So knock yourself out!
    Research found that cherries decreased oxidative stress, inflammation, exercise-induced muscle soreness and loss of strength, blood pressure, arthritis and gout symptoms and insomnia. That’s a pretty impressive list of attributes for a humble fruit. I wonder if they are any good for repetitive sales call-induced insanity?
    Cherries help with arthritis and other inflammatory conditions thanks to their high antioxidant content. Their abundant supply of antioxidants has been linked to reduced levels of nitric oxide, a compound associated with osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. Furthermore, cherry consumption has been proven to decrease the quantity and intensity of gout attacks.
    Cherries help lower blood sugar levels: they contain the antioxidant anthocyanin, which increases insulin production. They are also said to reduce the concentration of fat in the blood too, which can aid weight loss. Tart cherries can provide protection against heart disease. Research done at the University of Michigan suggests that tart cherries provide cardiovascular benefits and can reduce the risk of stroke.
    The combination of dietary fibre and antioxidants in cherries may lower the risk of colon cancer. The distinctive deep red pigment cherries are known for comes from flavonoids; powerful antioxidants that help fight free radicals in the body. Cyanidin is a flavonoid from the anthocyanin group found in cherries that helps keep cancerous cells from growing out of control.
    The anthocyanin contained in cherries can help enhance memory and also protect the eyes. The antioxidants fight damaging free radicals. Both macular degeneration and glaucoma are caused by free radicals and oxidative stress. Tart cherries contain high levels of melatonin, a hormone made by the pineal gland which is critical for managing the sleep/wake cycle. The consumption of tart cherry juice before bed increases both sleep time and quality.
    Lastly, cherries are an excellent source of potassium, calcium, magnesium, phosphorus and iron. They also contain significant amounts of vitamin C and beta carotene.

     

  • Nutritional information,  Savoury,  Soup

    Radish top soup and hot air and bubbles


    I love our dogs, I really do, but they’ve been doing my head in during this Sahara Bubble. Yesterday they kept forgetting just how hot it was outside, which meant that I spent the better part of the 41° heat of the day and early evening playing ‘Doors’, when I should have been prostrate with a cool compress on my head, perusing my book about expeditions to the South Pole to conjure up ice-cold thoughts. The rules of ‘Doors’ are quite simple: you run between the back door and the front door, alternately letting in and out hot, panting dogs with very short memories.
    You might be wondering why I don’t exercise a bit of authority (LOL – you and I have obviously never met), and tell them to stay put, but Hugo would head butt the door until he knocked himself unconscious, and Java would do her standing-on-hind-legs routine and end up falling over backwards, also knocking herself unconscious. So tempting, but no. And then this morning, to add insult to injury:  You know those hilariously funny videos you see of dogs rolling in wet, sticky mud coming back coated from head to paw? Java. Not hilarious. That’s all I’m saying.
    While I was jet washing the muddy kitchen floor, Luc ‘phoned from the supermarket to say that he had put his trousers on back-to-front (he realised when he tried to put his wallet in his pocket and it fell to the floor). He had to waddle back to the car to wrestle them off and back on again the right way. Give me strength. On a positive note at least it’s a bit cooler today.
    As I was far too hot and exhausted to go shopping yesterday, I made this soup with radish tops from the garden. It was more of a success than my dog disciplining attempts, which is admittedly not difficult. Radish greens contain a high concentration of vitamin B6, magnesium, phosphorus, iron, calcium, and vitamin A.
    Ingredients (serves 6)
    45g butter
    1 onion, peeled and sliced
    2 shallots, peeled and sliced
    2 garlic cloves, crushed
    3 bunches radish greens, rinsed
    2 large potatoes, peeled and sliced
    1l chicken stock (or vegetable if you prefer)
    1 teaspoon paprika
    Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
    4 tablespoons crème fraîche
    Melt the butter in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Add the onions, shallots and garlic, fry for about five minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent sticking. Add the radish tops and potatoes, coating in the butter and cook for a few minutes longer. Add the stock and seasoning and simmer for about 20 minutes, or until the radish tops and potatoes are soft. Blend the soup until smooth and add the crème fraîche.

  • Nutritional information,  Savoury,  Soup

    Watercress soup and disarray at dawn


    I have to get up far too early at the moment; it’s still dark  which makes it the middle of the night in my book. Java has become a bit of an early bird and launches herself at me like a little, blonde heat-seeking missile as soon as I come downstairs. I have to let her out quickly because she has work to do.  She has taken to ‘rearranging’ the scruffy pile of shoes that hangs out on the doorstep, depositing them thoughtfully and poetically on the grass in front of the house. This morning she outdid herself: She took each shoe and dunked it in the river before laying it out to dry on the grass. Getting ready to leave in a rush is fun when it involves having to retrieve a pair (preferably, although I have on occasion resorted to wearing odd shoes) in my size, which is  neither too soaking wet nor chewed to pieces. You might think I’d be inspired to tidy the shoes away, but no. I can’t tell her off because it causes her to develop a very bad limp and disappear for hours.
    When Luc gets up I have to ‘talk him down’ with regard to whatever weird dreams he’s fallen victim to during the night. It’s asparagus season, and for some reason eating asparagus in the evening has much the same psychedelic effect on him as a large plate of shrooms. This morning he was quite distraught at how France had suffered despicable referee bias during a France/Spain football match. He was obviously thinking in terms of retribution, because he asked me lots of detailed questions about disposing of bodies in concrete, which is just the ticket when you’re eating your porridge. This is obviously my specialist subject so I was happy to provide him with particulars. A few nights ago, there was a coup d’état in Argentina, which he was called upon to fly over and sort out, taking me along as his interpreter. I’m still worrying about how that would have turned out.  Thank goodness for small mercies: Hugo and Léo are far less complicated in the morning because neither of them communicates until after midday.


     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Watercress contains enormous quantities of vitamin K, but also vitamin C and vitamin A.  It contains the minerals manganese, iron and calcium and flavonoids such as beta carotene, zeaxanthin, and lutein.  It is a good source of B-complex vitamins.
    Ingredients (serves 6)
    4 potatoes, peeled and chopped
    2 turnips, peeled and chopped
    2 onions, peeled and sliced
    2 cloves of garlic, crushed
    1 tablespoon olive oil,
    Freshly ground black pepper, sea salt,
    1 teaspoon paprika
    4 bunches of watercress, well rinsed and chopped
    600ml organic stock
    Crème fraîche
    Heat the olive oil in a large saucepan, adding the potato, turnip, onion and garlic.  Fry until translucent. Add the seasoning, watercress and the stock and simmer for about five minutes. Blend until smooth and serve with crème fraîche.

  • Hugo blogs,  Nutritional information,  Savoury

    Oatcakes and small lazy animals



    Bossy is currently embracing her inner sloth (her excuse is that she has the flu). I would like to say it makes for a peaceful house, but I’d be lying. She screamed at the Tallish One (you may remember I can’t call him The Tall One anymore because The Noisy One has overtaken him by 10cm) this morning to ‘call the  doctor and order him to get rid of this f**king bullshit virus’. So that was reasonable; silent, or even gracious, she is not. Apparently she has very low blood pressure (not that you notice, mind you), which gets worse when she’s ill, which amusingly enough means that when she tries to stand up she collapses. This has the advantage of shutting her up momentarily, although it doesn’t make her any less stroppy. I wouldn’t like for her to actually hurt herself collapsing (she has quite a lot of form with collapsing and broken bones), but needs must.
    It is a well-known fact that when you’re ill, you need a sturdy dog to sit on your feet to keep you warm (and give you pins and needles and cramp). As I’m sure you’re all aware, I take my duties very seriously and carry out this role to the fullest, however time-consuming and unpleasant it may be. The trouble is, Java thinks it might be her duty too (when it suits her and when she’s not off doing things of little consequence). This means that we both end up sitting on Bossy who gets thoroughly overheated and panicky and red in the face and I have to throw Java off and we all end up in a growling, feverish heap on the floor. I’m absolutely wrung out; I hope we’re back to business as usual soon because this flu malarky is getting on my nerves.
    Oats contain beta glucans which are very beneficial for the immune system (ha!)
    Ingredients (makes about 12 oatcakes)
    225g rolled oats
    60g chickpea flour (or any other flour)
    1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
    60ml olive oil
    Large pinch of salt
    80ml hot water
    Preheat the oven to 190°C. Combine the oats, flour, bicarbonate of soda, olive oil and salt well and then gradually add the hot water until you have a thick doughy mixture. Roll out the mixture and use a cookie cutter (or upturned glass) to make the cakes. Place the cakes on a greased baking tray and bake for 20 minutes or until golden brown. Leave to cool.

  • Nutritional information,  Savoury,  Soup

    Chicken soup and unruly hair


    My hair is a free-for-all, to be chewed on, judged and discussed without compunction or reserve. I’m asked on a regular basis if it’s natural (because you think I would I chose it?), if it’s wet, if it’s dry, if it’s just been to the hairdresser and if it hasn’t. In some parts of the world, people come and stroke it like a strange woolly pet. A rather uncharming old lady who lives nearby actually uses the word ‘mop’ when referring to it, which she does every time I see her. And Luc said the other day ‘it just really suits you – it’s chaotic’. This was meant as a compliment (wtf?). The assistant in a posh haircare shop not long ago suggested, without a hint of irony, that I could ‘always try using a comb’ when I asked for advice on how to tame it. And to add insult to injury, Hugo chews on it in much the same way that he chews on Java’s ears.

    A number of studies have been conducted on the usefulness of chicken soup (aka Jewish penicillin) in warding off and treating cold and flu viruses. It appears that the soup inhibits the movement of neutrophils, the most common type of white blood cell that defends against infection. The theory is, that by inhibiting the migration of these infection-fighting cells in the body, chicken soup essentially helps reduce upper respiratory cold symptoms by reducing inflammation.

    The researchers couldn’t identify the exact ingredient or ingredients in the soup that made it effective against colds but say it may be the combination of vegetables and chicken that work together.

    Make what you will of the research, but at the very least, chicken soup with vegetables contains lots of healthy nutrients, is easy to digest, increases hydration and tastes delicious.

    Ingredients
    1 tablespoon olive oil
    2 onions, peeled and chopped
    2 shallots, peeled and chopped
    3 cloves of garlic, crushed
    2 leeks, washed and cut into rounds
    1 fennel bulb, washed and cut
    1/2 butternut squash, peeled and cut into cubes
    4 carrots, peeled and cut
    200g cabbage, shredded
    1 red pepper or chilli pepper, cut into strips
    2 sprigs of thyme
    1 teaspoon fresh ginger, grated
    2 teaspoons turmeric
    1.5 litres chicken stock
    2 tablespoons Pernod (optional)
    300g pre-roasted chicken, skin removed and shredded
    100g frozen peas
    2 serving of pre-cooked brown rice
    Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
    Gently brown the onions, shallots, garlic and leeks in the olive oil in a large saucepan or casserole dish. Once browed, add the fennel, butternut squash, carrots, cabbage and chilli pepper and continue to cook for a few minutes. Add the thyme, ginger, turmeric, chicken stock and Pernod and bring to a simmer. Once the vegetables are almost cooked, add the chicken and frozen peas and continue to cook for another ten minutes. Add the brown rice towards the end of cooking, season with the salt and pepper and serve piping hot.
     

  • Nutritional information,  Savoury

    Kale crisps, obscenities and dog-shaped holes


    The Tallish One (I had to rename The Tall One as The Noisy One is now a good 4cms taller) and I have decided that Bossy is a bad influence on animals and also, I suspect, small children. She and Noisy went to London last week and, while she was gone, everyone, even Java, fell into line. Relatively speaking of course. Even the horses were less tiresome than usual. Animals really do have a sixth sense for authority; The Tallish One has it, Bossy just doesn’t. She makes a mean kale crisp though, so I think we’re going to hang on to her for the moment.
    Bossy hadn’t been on UK soil for more than half and hour before having an almighty ding-dong with a traffic warden (apparently something to do with her being a ‘toxic tyrannical tw@t’). So much so that the traffic warden ran after her yelling ‘don’t you dare walk away while I’m reprimanding you’. If you know Bossy, you can imagine how well that went down. The thing is, Bossy swears a lot. It’s actually one of the few things she’s really good at; I would probably go as far as to say she’s a Master of Blasphemy. She’s also got quite a talent for really pissing people off. Anyway, if you want to learn to eff and blind in English or French, Bossy’s your girl.
    In other news, we found a Java-shaped hole in the wisteria canopy under Léo’s first-floor bedroom window, and a rather bemused Java shaking herself off on the ground beneath. I feel certain that Bossy must be to blame in some way – I’m just not sure how yet.
    One thing is sure: kale is so full of goodness that if it could talk, it certainly wouldn’t swear. As a vegetable it is a bit of an overachiever with its protein, fibre, vitamins A, C, K and B vitamins. It also contains minerals – potassium, calcium and zinc as well as omega 3, lutein and zeaxanthin.
    Ingredients
    200g kale, rinsed and cut into strips, large stems removed
    1 tablespoon olive oil
    Sea salt, freshly ground black pepper
    Espelette pepper or paprika
    Preheat the oven to 150°C. Put the kale in a large bowl and add the oil. Massage it into the leaves, then toss with the seasoning. Spread out in a single layer on two large baking trays and bake for about 20 minutes, checking from time to time that it is cooking evenly. Leave to cool and eat!