• French,  Nutritional information,  Savoury

    French onion tart and a budding winemaker

    French onion tart

    Léo, who is studying Viticulture/Oenology in Bordeaux, decided very recently that our life was incomplete without 200 grapevines in the garden to water, weed, feed, protect from potential bad-vine weather, fret about, protect from digging dogs, and generally mollycoddle. Grapevines are also very useful for further knackering already-knackered backs.

    Our house was originally a farm (it still is I suppose, albeit slightly non-conformist), and the owners grew grapes to produce wine for their consumption, and for the farm labourers. The soil in the Landes is extremely sandy, and the climate very hot and dry in the Summer months. We chose (actually Luc and Léo chose; my ‘wine abilities’ stop at knowing how to neck it) the varieties of grape best suited to these conditions: Tannat, Cabernet Franc, Cabernet Sauvignon, Petit Maseng, Gros Maseng, and Chardonnay. One of the major advantages of growing in a hot, dry climate is it’s much easier to grow organic (less risk of mildew etc.).

    Vineyards in the Landes area of France

    Wine has been produced in this area since Gallo-Roman times. There is a vinyard in Capbreton right on the Atlantic coast, La Domaine de la Pointe, that produces wine with iodised undertones, that come from the sea air and salty soil.

    I receive instructions from Léo every day as to what I need to be doing vine-wise. I’m about to go outside with a magnifying glass to check for budding buds, and then stick my fist in the soil to make a totally uneducated guess as to the degree of humidity. Spot the neophyte!

    I tend to eat a lot of quercetin-rich onions and apples in the Spring, as I suffer from allergies. Studies have demonstrated that quercetin acts as an antihistamine and lessens the respiratory side effects of allergies by reducing inflammatory response in the airways. It is also a zinc ionophore (transports zinc into the cells) and, as such, is being studied as a potential treatment for Covid-19.

    Recipe for French onion tart (serves 6)

    • Pastry (I used this one)
    • 10g butter
    • 1kg onions (peeled and cut into thin rounds)
    • 100g smoky bacon
    • 3 eggs
    • 30cl cream
    • Sea salt, freshly ground black pepper
    • 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

    Preheat the oven to 180°C. Fry the onions in butter (or olive oil) until softened, and slightly caramelised (approx 20-25 minutes). Prepare the tart tin (or individual cases) by greasing and lining with pastry.

    Beat the eggs in a bowl and add the cream and seasoning, mixing well. Place the onions on the pastry, with a piece of bacon on top. Pour the egg/cream mixture over the top and bake for 25 minutes for individual tarts, or 35 minutes for a larger one.

  • General

    All-natural perfume making, or the new sourdough bread

    All-natural perfume making, by Kristen Schuhmann

    One of my blogging friends in the US, Kristen Schuhmann, whose blog, Blossom Herbs, is a go-to for all things herb-related, has written a beautiful book: All-Natural Perfume Making, fragrances to lift your mind, body and spirit. Banana bread, sourdough starters, supermarket toilet-roll brawls begone! Natural scents are order of the day.

    The title is actually slightly misleading because this a gorgeous book is about so much more than just natural perfume making; I particularly appreciated the chapter that explains the different essential oils, and their benefits to both body and mental health. In these difficult times, there are so many essential oils that help with stress, anxiety and depression: Sweet Orange, Rose, Jasmine, Ylang Ylang, to name but a few.

    Perfumes with antidepressant qualities

    In Kristen’s words: ‘this book tells you how to create natural perfumes from natural ingredients that you probably already have in your kitchen, garden, or liquor cabinet’. There are recipes to play with and instructions on how to create your very own signature scent. Alcohol based, oil based, and solid perfume instructions are all there, and the mental and emotional benefits of the essential oils are discussed so you can create with your health in mind as well as your aesthetic sensibilities.’

    There are inspirational recipes for blends for weight management, relaxation, antidepressant, illness prevention, digestive health, etc., as well as clear instructions on how to create them. Another chapter I found particularly interesting was ‘Chakra Perfumes’. I love crystals, but it had never occurred to me to combine them with essential oils.

    This book is beautifully illustrated – you can smell the scents waft from the pages. It would make a thoughtful gift, either to yourself, or a loved one…

  • Hugo blogs,  Savoury

    Courgette fritters and The Naked Mountain

    Courgette fritters

    I apologise for my lack of blog posts lately. I’ve taken on a full-time nocturnal job keeping the wild boar at bay, which means that I sleep all day, and don’t have time for my more intellectual pursuits. Many people — I would say fans if I were immodest — have asked after me, so here I am slaving away at the computer, and not snoring on the sofa. I just hope my return doesn’t break the internet.

    Bossy was absolutely hell-bent on skiing in the Pyrenees this winter, although the odds were heavily stacked against. Due to the human pandemic, there aren’t any ski lifts this year, which means that cross country is the way forward (see what I did there? I’m delighted I haven’t lost my wit). She spent weeks studying the likelihood of further lockdowns, the best places nearby for cross country skiing, how to cross country ski (she tried it once before and ended up in a river), the necessary gear, and The Noisy One’s availability. The Tall One doesn’t buy into Bossy’s hair-brained ski trips anymore. Once was enough for him; he’s a sensible man.

    Flapping and no chains

    On the morning of departure, Bossy started to flap like one of those awful pigeons her husband fawns over. All because she’d forgotten to buy chains for the car’s wheels. She decided to risk it anyway, and, thankfully, off she and Noisy went.

    I’m not an unkind dog, and certainly not one that takes pleasure in other people’s misfortune, but when they came back exhausted and covered in mud and not snow, I confess that my inner laughter gave way to uncontrollable outer laughter. She’d ‘closely monitored’ many things before departure, but ‘snowfall’ hadn’t made it to her list; they arrived to sunny 15°C and stark naked green mountains.

    They went for a nice hike instead and managed to get thoroughly lost (there was talk of ending up at the top of the wrong mountain). On the upside (I did it again!), at least they hadn’t needed to worry about snow chains for the mountain pass *snigger*…

    Thankfully Bossy’s courgette fritters are better than her organisational skills. I’m not a fan of vegetables (I spit them out for Java to eat), but these are light, crispy and succulent all at the same time.

    Recipe for courgette fritters (serves 3-4)

    • 150g chickpea (gram) flour
    • 1 pinch of salt
    • 1/2 teaspoon chilli or curry powder
    • 1/2 teaspoon cumin seeds
    • 1 clove of garlic, crushed
    • 1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
    • 150ml lukewarm water
    • 4 medium-sized courgettes
    • Olive oil

    Sift the flour, seasoning and bicarbonate of soda into a mixing bowl, and add the water, mixing well to form a batter. Leave to rest for about 30 minutes. If the mixture thickens too much, add more water.

    Top and tail the courgettes and peel if the skin is tough. Cut in half and then slice lengthways, quite finely (1-2mm). Coat well with the batter and fry in olive oil until golden.

  • Breakfast,  Nutritional information,  Savoury,  Sweet

    Whisky and ginger marmelade and indigestible books

    Whisky and ginger marmelade

    Following my previous blog post, I had a message from somebody irked by my flippancy, with recommendations for, amongst other things, dog training books. Many years ago, when I got my first labrador puppy, Loulou, I bought a book called ‘How to have an obedient dog’. As it turned out, I should have bought the sequel too: ‘How to avoid having books chewed to pieces as soon as you buy them’. So no thank you, I won’t be going down that road again.

    Loulou the book chewer

    I think for many people, myself included, trying to see the funny side of things is a coping mechanism. And let’s face it, life is a bit of a shit show at the moment. Also my sense of irony is often directly proportional to my back pain. For example, when I wrote this post, I didn’t know whether I was going to walk again properly.

    So now we’ve cleared up the fact that I’m not a sociopathic monster, just a bit ‘bantery’ and immature, on to the marmelade.

    While citrus peel provides many of the same nutritional benefits as the rest of the fruit such as antioxidants, vitamin C and polyphenols, it also contains provitamin A, B vitamins and calcium. The essential oils in the peel contain high levels of limonene, which is a powerful anti-inflammatory that helps ease heartburn and reflux, and reduce anxiety and stress. In addition to this, it helps maintain a healthy metabolism and lower high blood sugar levels.

    Surprisingly enough, whisky too is a good source of polyphenols, the antioxidants linked with multiple health benefits. Whisky is also purported to help clear the mucous and congestion caused by colds. As with all things, to be taken in moderation…

    Recipe for whiskey and ginger marmelade

    • 1kg Seville oranges
    • 1 lemon
    • 2cm piece of fresh root ginger
    • 1kg sugar
    • 250ml whisky

    Wash the fruit well as you won’t be peeling. Cut into quarters, and place in a food processor, along with the ginger. Blitz until you obtain the desired texture. Transfer the chopped mixture to a large non-stick saucepan and add the sugar. Bring to a gentle boil and simmer for about 30 minutes, or until you reach the required texture. Add the whisky at the end of cooking time, stirring well. Leave to cool for about 10 minutes before transferring to sterilised jars.

  • French,  Savoury

    Rosemary and black olive Fougasse and sausages for officers

    Rosemary and black olive fougasse

    Last week Luc admitted to a hunter friend (who has eight obedient beagles) that we had ‘issues’ with our dogs. We hit a new low recently; we have to barricade the doors at night with chairs to send the message that we don’t provide a 24/7 service, and it’s NOT OK to wake us up at random just because you fancy a moonlit stroll in the garden. The friend wasn’t overly sympathetic and seemed to suggest that in our case, the ‘obedience ship’ had set sail long ago. He trains his dogs as puppies (like most sensible people), but I just can’t get my head around the idea of disciplining a puppy. Or any dog, if I’m being absolutely honest.

    Léo and five friends celebrated the end of exams last week in true Bordeaux style with copious amounts of food, wine and noise (gatherings of up to six people are allowed in France). They were just tucking in to a second ‘dinner’ at three in the morning when the police knocked at the door. The noise was such that the gendarmes had called in reinforcements, and were accompanied by a heavily armed military squadron. They were rather taken aback when they realised that the impressive commotion was coming from just six boys, although the fact that several of them were Basque went some way to explaining things (Basque fiestas are notoriously loud). Realising there was no pressing need for mob control, they laid down their guns but, slightly bewildered, graciously refused the offer of sausages and chips. Way to avoid a hefty fine.

    Fougasse is a flatbread that was traditionally baked in the ashes of the hearth. It is really a primitive form of pizza, without the tomatoes.

    Recipe for rosemary and black olive fougasse

    • 250g einkorn flour (normal flour is fine)
    • Pinch of salt
    • 2 tablespoons olive oil
    • 1 teaspoon bread yeast, mixed in a little lukewarm water
    • 8 black olives, chopped
    • 1 shallot, chopped
    • Fresh rosemary, removed from stem
    • Water
    • Sea salt to sprinkle on top

    Place the flour in a bowl, add the salt, olive oil, yeast, chopped olives, shallot and rosemary. Add the water, little by little to form a smooth ball. Knead for a couple of minutes and then flatten to form an oval shape a couple of centimetres thick. Decorate with the sea salt.

    Leave to rise in a 30°C oven for half an hour, then increase the oven temperature to 200°C and bake for 25 minutes.

  • Nutritional information,  Savoury

    Brussels sprouts and chestnuts and uppity wild boar

    Brussels sprouts and chestnuts

    I have something in common with The Donald (other than unruly yellow hair): I incite appallingly bad behaviour. In animals in my case; Luc has always maintained that it’s impossible to get any animal to obey if I’m nearby. Yesterday was a case in point. Just 10 minutes in to a walk with Hugo and Java, two dogs became three and then a few minutes later, four. One of the dogs had jumped out of a window to join us, and the other had abandoned his master without a backward glance. A little further on, we walked past four horses in two separate fields. The dogs didn’t go into the fields, but our presence alone inspired one of the horses to leap over the fence into the adjacent field to join his friends.

    One of the consequences of repeated lockdowns is that the wild boar believe they own the forest. Leaving our house in the car yesterday, my path was blocked by a menacing 100kg specimen. The sight of me clearly made him angry, and he fixed me with a stare that said ‘I own you, bitch’. Something about the way he irately hoofed the ground and then started to snort, made me reverse the car and watch from an acceptable (to him) distance while he saw his wife and eight babies over the track.

    In stark contrast to the dogs, horses and boar, these young deer seemed remarkably well behaved and stood quite still while I photographed them.

    Brussels sprouts are part of the cabbage family, the nutritional virtues of which I detailed in my previous post.

    Recipe for brussels sprouts and chestnuts

    • 500g Brussels sprouts, peeled and halved
    • 2 tablespoons olive oil
    • 4 shallots, peeled and sliced
    • 2 cloves garlic, peeled and crushed
    • 250g chestnuts, pre-cooked
    • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
    • ½ teaspoon paprika

    Cook the Brussels sprouts briefly in salted boiling water for about five minutes, drain and set aside. Heat the olive oil in a large frying pan and fry the shallots and garlic until golden. Add the sprouts, chestnuts and seasoning and fry for about five minutes, or until the chestnuts start to crisp.

  • Nutritional information,  Savoury

    Braised red cabbage and a better New Year

    Braised red cabbage

    Happy new year everybody! We can only hope for a less complicated, less heartbreaking 2021…

    We happily bid good riddance to 2020, and welcomed 2021 with some trepidation at our neighbours’ (in France we are allowed to meet in groups of six), where we enjoyed an impromptu wine-tasting session, and ended up crawling/swimming back home, zigzagging our way through puddles, rivers and lakes at around 2.30am (we have had terrible flooding over the past few weeks).

    Luc woke up with a blinding headache in a panic, saying ‘oh mon dieu, j’ai choppé le Covid’ (‘oh my God I’ve caught Covid’.) He was incredibly relieved when I suggested that his ‘Covid’ probably had more to do with a combination of excessive wine ‘tastings’ and wet feet than any viral infection.

    The extensive health benefits of red cabbage

    The cabbage family are almost certainly the vegetables richest in nutrients and protective substances; they are not only a fantastic source of vitamin C, but also fibre, carotenoids, B vitamins, potassium, magnesium and calcium. High antioxidant and vitamin A content means that cabbage helps to defend both the skin and eyes from free radicals.

    Red cabbage contains a large amount of amino acid glutamine, which specifically reduces the inflammation and pain associated with ulcers in the gastrointestinal system. Recent research has shown cabbage juice, particularly red cabbage juice, to be highly therapeutic.

    Claude Aubert, a French Agricultural Engineer who was the pioneer of organic farming in France, recounts a study carried out on two groups of volunteers: The first group ate a ‘normal’ diet, and the second group was given a diet rich in vegetables from the cabbage family, notably Brussels Sprouts. Both groups then ingested carcinogens. The cabbage family eating group eliminated the carcinogens more quickly than the other group.

    We had this cabbage with our Christmas guinea fowl. It was a perfect complement.

    Recipe for braised red cabbage

    • 1kg red cabbage, shredded
    • 2 onions, chopped
    • 2 cloves garlic, crushed
    • 3 cooking apples, peeled, cored and chopped
    • Half teaspoon ground cinnamon
    • Half teaspoon garam masala
    • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
    • 3 tablespoon brown sugar
    • 3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
    • 15g butter

    Place all the ingredients in a large casserole dish, add the seasoning, then the vinegar and last of all the butter on top. Put in a slow oven (150°C) for about two and a half hours, stirring from time to time and adding a drop of water if it seems too dry.

  • Nutritional information,  Sweet

    Spicy Oranges in Armagnac and Happy Christmas!

    Spicy oranges in Armagnac

    Wishing you all ‘Bonnes Fêtes’, a very Happy Christmas.

    I am sure one thing we all have in common, wherever we are, is that we will be very glad to see the back of this absolute shitfest of a year.

    This orange-based dessert is simple and cheering (probably due to its generous quantity of Armagnac!), and bursting with Christmassy flavours.

    Oranges contain, not only vitamin C, but also hesperidin, a citrus fruit flavonoid. It has recently been discovered that hesperidin can prevent replication of the Covid-19 virus in the body; just one of nature’s glut of pathogen and virus-fighting alternatives…

    Recipe for spicy oranges in Armagnac (serves 4)

    • 4 large dessert oranges, peeled and sliced
    • 100ml Brandy, Cognac or Armagnac
    • ½ teaspoon freshly-grated ginger
    • 5 cardamon pods, crushed, shells removed
    • 1 stick licorice
    • 3 cinnamon sticks
    • 5 star anise
    • 75g sugar

    Arrange the orange slices in a frying pain or saucepan. Add the other ingredients plus a little water and bring to a simmer over a low heat, stirring to dissolve the sugar.

    Don’t cook for longer than a few minutes, or the alcohol will evaporate and the vitamin C degrade, and you wouldn’t want either of those things to happen this year!

  • Savoury

    Spicy meat loaf, pigeons and Paris

    Spicy meat loaf

    I had to have a stern word with a pigeon last week; he had left his wife to do all the egg sitting, while he was out and about teasing Java, paddling in the pool, and perching on the horses’ warm backs. Anyone familiar with pigeons knows that it quite clearly states in the pigeon prenup that Monsieur should share the incubation burden. So either Madame is a total pushover, or Monsieur is a bit of a one.

    The couple had also been shamefully slapdash in the ‘construction’ (I use the term lightly) of a nest for their brood-to-be. They had garnished a wooden beam five metres from the ground with a couple of dry leaves and a few bits of straw. Luc took pity and supplied them with a wooden wine box full of hay, where the squabs have now hatched and are growing by the day.

    Paris and a rogue thyroid

    Satisfied we had done all we could for the irresponsible pigeons, I made a flying visit to Paris at the beginning of the week to see a thyroid specialist about my rogue thyroid gland. I managed to lock myself in the train bathroom for part of the journey because my slimey, soap-covered hands and inability to turn on the water to rince them, meant that my impotent fingers kept slipping on the door handle. As all restaurants are still shut in France, I nipped into a health food store for something to eat, and ended up inadvertently buying myself baby food (inside/outside temperature changes and my mask caused my glasses to steam up). Plus ça change…

    At the hospital the next day, I had to see the radiologist before the thyroid specialist, and I obviously inspired her; she seemed awfully keen to lecture me on my mask and its inadequacies. Neither its size, shape, colour nor material pleased her, and neither did the apparently slapdash way I was wearing it. In the end so I had to say: ‘Madame, your rant is instructive (not!), but I’ve come 800km for an opinion on my thyroid, not my mask’. She was NOT amused and actually told me to ‘shush’. I had forgotten how cantankerous Parisians can be.

    It was sad to see Paris so listless with all its bars, restaurants and museums shut. However, Paris by night was still luminous, and I had time for a photo dash.

    Luc was very pleased with this meatloaf, which I left for him while I was away. It may be enjoyed hot or cold.

    Recipe for spicy meat loaf (serves 6-8)

    • 2 onions, chopped
    • 2 garlic cloves, crushed
    • 3 carrots, grated
    • 1 courgette, grated
    • 1 red pepper, chopped
    • 3 medium tomatoes, chopped
    • Olive oil
    • 300g minced beef or lamb
    • 3 eggs
    • 1 tbsp Lee and Perrins sauce
    • 50ml tomato ketchup
    • 200g pre-cooked chickpeas
    • Parsley
    • Rosemary
    • Fresh coriander
    • Sea salt, freshly ground black pepper
    • Half teaspoon of each: cumin, cayenne pepper or paprika, garam masala

    Combine the vegetables, olive oil, meat, beaten eggs, Lee and Perrins sauce and ketchup in a large mixing bowl. Roughly blend the chickpeas and herbs until the mixture forms a lumpy paste (ie not blended too much) and add it to the meat mixture. Add the seasoning, mixing well and spoon the combined mixture into a loaf tin and cook for about an hour and a half in a medium oven (180°C). Leave to sit for ten minutes before slicing.

  • Sweet

    Apple and sultana cake and smashing people’s faces in

    Apple and sultana cake

    I was chomping on the bit in a supermarket queue when a message pinged onto my ‘phone from Luc, who was waiting outside in the car. This was our exchange:

    Luc: ‘Have u bn arrested?’

    Me: ‘Er not yet, but thx for jumping to that conclsn. V slow – lady in front regaling cashier with ALL deets of sprained ankle. Cousin’s ex son-in-law (wtf?) had to take her to hospital. Mucho pain. And now me too…’

    Luc: ‘When your turn tell the cashier all about your thyroid pblems!’

    Me: ‘&@(€ §^$’

    I read an amusing article in our local newspaper about a man who, when stopped by the police, obligingly produced his ‘Attestation De Déplacement Dérogatoire’ (the form we have to fill in to go anywhere during lockdown. The French love a form.) The man hadn’t found the appropriate box to check, as his reason for leaving the house was ‘to smash a bloke’s face in’. As the policeman said with some irony, ‘he seemed keen to make an effort to adhere to the rules, in his own way!’

    Einkorn flour nutritional information

    This cake is made with einkorn flour (although it will work very well with ordinary flour), which is one of my favourites because of its subtle nutty flavour. Einkorn flour is the most ancient form of wheat, and very different from modern wheat. It is very high in protein, essential fatty acids, phosphorous, potassium, iron, vitamin B6, lutein and beta-carotene, which gives it a golden tint. Einkorn flour has a very low gluten content which makes it much easier to digest than wheat flour.

    Recipe for apple and sultana cake

    • 2 large apples, peeled and sliced
    • A handful of raisins
    • 2 tablespoons dark rum
    • 150g cane sugar
    • 3 eggs
    • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
    • 200g einkorn flour (you could use ordinary flour)
    • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
    • Pinch of salt
    • 1 teaspoon baking powder
    • Half teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
    • 1 pot of yoghurt (125g)
    • 75ml melted virgin coconut oil
    • 75ml melted butter

    Preheat the oven to 180°C and prepare and grease a loaf tin. Poach the apples and raisins in the rum and a small amount of water. Once the apples are soft (about 15 minutes), drain the excess cooking juice and set aside.

    Beat the sugar and eggs together until homogeneous, add the vanilla essence and then gradually add the flour, cinnamon, salt, baking powder and bicarbonate of soda. Add the yoghurt, melted coconut oil and butter, mixing well. Lastly, stir in the poached apples and sultanas, transfer the mixture to the tin and bake for 35/40 minutes, or until a skewer comes out clean.